An Unsettling Mind
by Biollante
Summary: When I'm abducted from what I assume is my original plane of existence, I meet a young girl. I discover that she merely wants to be something, to DO something with her life. She may have made a terrible mistake in summoning the most eccentric Kaiser in the JSDF, though. Oh well, I guess. Time to raise hell. Hey, is that a princess I see?
1. The Actual Fuck?

_Strawberry blonde hair, looking like pink in the light, flows in the wind as an inner power surges through the girl. She is silently chanting her spell in a language incomprehensible to those not of her home, and determination and an undercurrent of anger is dominant in her features._

_**I will not fail this. By Founder Brimir, I will summon a familiar.**_

_The spell ready, she casts it, pushing out not only her magic, but her hopes and desires into the casting, and a portal appears._

_The fates have heard her cry._

_They have seen who must go._

_So be it._

…

…

XXX

Most people don't understand why I hate birds. For the most part, it is because of such winged rats like seagulls or crows, literally serving no purpose other than taking up space and eating our trash.

However, there is one other reason why I hate birds with a passion.

One such example was currently trying to split me in half with a hypersonic laser.

Such are the worries of a Kaiser in Japan. Though honestly, I doubt this thing counted as a bird.

Narrowly avoiding the screeching beam, I summersaulted over the diving beast and unleashed a burst of Maser beams from my multi-barreled rifle, with several rounds tearing into one of the wings. I watched as the leathery skin of its wing tore, losing all lift and grounding the bastard. Slinging my rifle behind my back in one smooth motion, I grabbed a handle at my side, where one would typically find a handgun. Instead of a handgun, there was a handle, and I swiftly released it from its holster and pressed a button located near the middle of the handle, even as the "bird" swiveled its head towards me, intent evident as more screeching was heard.

The Swiss Army-type handle unfolded a potent blade, section after section layering upon each other until they reached the full size of about a meter long. With a yell, I dashed towards the winged rat, and with a single diagonal slash I beheaded the thing as it struggled to fire another beam. Its head slid off the throat upon which it had been sitting, and the body fell to the side, deader than disco.

Stupid Gyaos. If only the turtle could have killed Legion without using up Manna from the Earth awakening the Hyper Gyaos. Then I wouldn't have to be hunting these damn pests down. After the epic last stand held in Tokyo by the one-armed turtle and our own military, units made up of Kaisers and Mutants were designated to go hunt down any and all remaining nests, be they in remote islands or in hostile countries. This had been met with less enthusiasm than most hoped, but after seeing the carnage one Gyaos could do by itself, even without reproducing, they were quick to change their tune. This time, a small town about two hours away from the recently rebuilt Sendai had been demolished, and a nest was most definitely present. We had already killed off several batches of eggs, and the latest batch had angered the rat I had just beheaded, so my hand was forced. Not that I mind; these things _need to die_ before they reproduce any further.

I was only happy for the K908 I currently had with me. The Swiss Army handle held within it a foldable blade that had only a two second draw time to completely assemble itself, and the blade itself was made out of laminated NT-1. In other words, the thing was perfect for traditional sword style in Japan, and there wasn't really anything known the sword _couldn't _cut through, not to mention that the fact that it was laminated meant that certain beams, like Masers or hypersonic beams, could, in theory, be deflected. At least, in theory. You would have to be godly quick, and crazy enough, to deflect energy weapons moving at speeds like that of a hypersonic laser or a Maser burst.

The armor given to us for this operation was hardly half-assed either. It was officially designated as the MA4115, with the MA standing for Mobile Armor. The Kaisers that had the armor, me included, called it the Carapace Mobility Set, or the CMS, mostly because we were all anime nerds that refused to let this armor be called a mobile armor until we knew Gundams were a possibility. CMS was a much better name, in our own humble opinions.

Miniature rant aside, this armor was designed to give maximum mobility to the wearer. It was equipped with a battery pack, non-nuclear, capable of a run-time suitable for a prolonged engagement, and the damn thing could charge out of combat with naught but the sun, going from empty to full in only about 30 minutes with optimal conditions. The battery itself was used to power boosters that fired a quick burst of clean plasma energy, designed to boost the wearer through whatever the wearer was going through. The whole system was really energy efficient, and the actual armor plating was a cheap, mass-produced version of NT-1, non-laminated. The thing could take a real hard beating, and while beams could do heavy damage, there wasn't much in the way of actual hard matter that could go through it. The best part about it, though, was that when out of combat, the armor folded itself with only the press of a button from the user, folding itself into a semi-discrete backpack that was lightweight. One more button press engaged the armor, which covered everything, including the head. Thank the gods the thing was light, even while engaged.

Another screech was heard, and I was forced to stoop over awkwardly to avoid a swipe from another Gyaos. The winged rat, bigger than the one I had just beheaded, used its infamous maneuverability and speed to perform a quick turn, and before I was able to try to slash the thing out of the sky, it grasped me in its talons and began to pick me up into the sky. Within several seconds of its ascension, I could already feel myself losing breath, both from altitude and from the damn rat squeezing me in its talons. It let out another screech even as I could hear the armor groaning under the impressive pressure the rat was putting out.

Goddamnit, this has got to stop.

The Gyaos was about to break cloud cover when I activated the boosters on the CMS. The resulting force directed sideways pushed me through its talons, tearing one of them off thanks to the durability of the armor plating. After deactivating the boosters, I allowed myself to fall, an idea forming in my head. I was going to just allow myself to fall, then use a combination of my telekinetics and boosters to break my fall. The Gyaos had different plans, however, as it dove beneath me, gained speed, then quickly turned back around and began a charge. I could already hear the screech of its beam charging even as I formed another plan.

Time to impale this fucker at terminal velocity.

I channeled telekinetic energy to my body, reinforcing it beyond what Mutants could do, Bulking up, preparing for the impact. I simultaneously focused more energy towards my arms and hands, Focusing them for more power behind this titanic strike. With the amount of energy I was using up, I was bound to have a severe headache for the rest of the operation, but that was much better than dying. I had people who still owe me money, after all.

Grimacing, I braced myself for the impact, only to be encompassed in a bright green light. Then there was a courtyard, and a crowd, and pink hair. Then everything went dusty and dark.

XXX

I slowly came back to consciousness and discovered myself to be in a crater, probably formed by my Focused and Bulked terminal velocity drop to the Earth's surface. The K908 was embedded up to the hilt in the soil, and I had apparently let go of it in the short time I was unconsciousness. After pulling up from the ground and folding the blade back into the handle, I stumbled to my knees in pain as a migraine tore through my head. Fuck, that hurts. I pulled myself up and out of the crater to observe my surroundings.

All around me, apparently arranged in a circle, were children. They were wearing robes that wouldn't look too out of place in a fantasy school for important people's children, with the girls in skirts I personally thought were too short to be decent and the boys looking like dukes, both adorned with some kind of cape. What stuck out to me was the hair color of the students. Ranging from indigo to purple and all colors in between, it was like standing in the middle of a discombobulated rainbow. All of them had been knocked down by the shockwave I had created upon impact, and were stumbling up to their feet to gape at me in shock. Maybe they had never seen armor like mine before? But if that was the case, then where the fuck was I?

A mop of frazzled, long pink hair caught and held my attention, and the girl which had this hair had already recovered from the impact, despite being closer to the crater, and was looking at me in awe.

She quickly snapped out of her stupor, however. She then pointed at me, saying…saying…

Fuck, I can't speak their language.

After shaking my head and shrugging in an attempt to convey my lack of knowledge about her speech, she gained an angry edge to her eyes, and turned around to yell at someone who apparently called her out, with the rest of the now recovered students laughing. I could practically see the pulsating tick mark through her frazzled hair.

She then turned back around as the laughing died down, and she walked up to me. She was obviously scared of walking up to me, seeing as how I was fully armored, helmet and all. That didn't deter her, however, and she continued to observe me like I was a test subject. She couldn't have been more than fourteen years old. I decided to then calm her down a little, and with the push of a button on my back, my helmet folded back to reveal my face.

She jumped at the sudden movement, and the crowd tensed, but she calmed quickly and scanned my facial features. She held her curious gaze at the eyes, however. Was she looking directly at my eyes? What was she looking at?

I allowed myself to unblinkingly stare back, allowing her to observe. She had had enough, though, for she suddenly exclaimed something in her language, then pulled out… a stick?

It was shaped to look like a wand or baton, and it looked like a stick with a purpose. She was quietly speaking in her language, almost like she was chanting. After a while of this, she waved her stick, closed her eyes, then began advancing towards me, her purposeful stick still pointed at me. Her lips began to pucker, a light blush forming on her-

"I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE!"

My helmet forming back onto me, I utilized my natural superhuman speed and leapt away from the action that would forever mark me as a pedophile, my battle cry startling both her and the crowd. Assuming what I called the "No" position, which was basically the standard sumo wrestling stance, I saw a flash way up at the top of a tower nearby the courtyard. A vague bear-like figure was at the top, and it vanished in another flash.

I was being watch-

Honed by years of dating, I sensed an incoming attack from the side. A foot.

Incoming jump kick.

SKIRT.

OH NO.

Clenching my eyes shut and covering them with an arm, I leaned to the left as the killer attack flew past me faster than a pitched fastball, and my other hand trailed behind me, only to catch something. Frozen in fear for my life, I slowly removed my arm and opened my eyes, only to see that my hand had caught her cape. Huh. That's new.

I was very aware of the frazzled girl that was denied her kiss though, and she had already turned to face me, steam from her hot anger billowing from her nose like she was an industrial factory. She was pawing the ground with a foot, too, almost like she was…

I looked down at the cape in my hand, torn from her uniform, and a wicked smile formed on my face, unseen by the group now staring on in silent wonder, with some openly laughing.

"Is that how you want to play? Then that's how we'll play."

She was obviously very tired of my shit, because as if my voice was the trigger to the .50 caliber round that the girl was, she rocketed out of her bull stance at speeds rivaling that of Rodan. Naturally, in response, I set the cape in front of me, and before she could connect her thunderous charge, I stepped to the right and let her small form pass through the cape.

I had become a matador.

Turning with the maneuverability of a hungry Gyaos, she rushed me again, only for the exact same thing to occur. Either she had no idea I was treating her like a bull or she didn't care, because she obviously wasn't learnin-

She whipped out her stick of destiny and pointed it me, panting from exertion and rage. Hearing a clamor behind me, I turned to see nearly everyone that was behind me from the group practically dive out of the way, literally in some cases. I even saw one dude float up into the air so far, I had to crane my neck to damn near perpendicular to the ground to see him at all.

Wait, what? What the fuck?

I turned back to the girl and was about to question her using gestures about the floating dude when she preempted me by screaming something in her language.

Then I exploded.

I was thrown backward at an odd angle, my right shoulder plate smoldering and singed by the sheer heat of the explosion. The armor, however, was still intact. After hitting the ground and sliding for a while, I came to a stop and looked up in a daze, sweating a bit from the heat.

Why is there a blue…lizard…thing?

What?

The thing was just looking at me, its tongue lolling out a little. Reaching out like it was an out of body experience, I scratched its nose with an armored hand. It closed its eyes, made a sound that I swear you could call purring, and rolled over onto its back next to me. The thing was acting like a freaking dog.

Standing up, I noticed the small girl with glasses and a staff staring at me, the other hand not occupied by her staff holding an open book. She seemed to be curious about me, but didn't show any emotion otherwise. Her hair was very eye-catching, as well. Blue locks simply left to hang. It was rather short, but it made her look really cute.

Also, I had just noticed the lizard was in fact not a lizard.

The thing was a dragon.

A freaking dragon, wings and all, and it was rolled over onto its back like a dog wanting a belly rub.

…

_I wanna scratch it more._

My hand was already halfway towards its belly when I noticed the darkening gaze of the blue-ette. Glancing towards her, she gave me a negative shake of head. The message she was trying to convey was clear. 'Don't give the dragon love, or you will be hurt.' Well, who was she to try and stop me from scratching the belly? Look at the thing, woman! It was begging to be scratched!

The hand had been scratching for approximately one second when I heard the girl speak.

"I warned you."

It was so soft I may as well have imagined it. But I knew I heard it.

Within the nanosecond of her saying it, the dragon's foot kicked out, exactly like a dog's, and the resulting impact was like a gunshot, sound and all, hurtling me across the courtyard for the second time in several minutes. Pain shot into my gut like an injection, and the armor plating of the CMS groaned under the stress. It was like being punched by Jet freaking Jaguar at full power.

Sliding to a stop and giving a groan in pain, I looked up in another daze to see the pink-ette from earlier, who appeared to have calmed down enough to be considered not a bull anymore. She still looked like she wanted to drop kick me though. That had most definitely not changed.

Great.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!"

Now, why in the name of all that is good and holy in this world was she speaking in my language? Naturally, I made my curiosity edging on sarcasm let loose.

"Who are you to tell me otherwise? Also, why can I understand you?"

She adopted a look of shock, then began yelling. Not shrieking, but still loud enough. "How can I understand you? Do you know how much trouble you've cause already? Stand back up so I can complete the ritual already!"

What ritual? Is that what that kiss was for? And if so, why the hell did it require the receiver to look like a goddamn pedophile?

I contemplated in silence for about a minute as the girl, who's name was Louise something or other, talked with an older man with a staff and glasses, whom I hadn't seen before, walk up to her and explain something about how her original spell had apparently fucked up and had instead made me able to communicate with them instead.

Wait wait wait.

I can understand them now!

Rising up and dashing towards the dragon at a speed that made everyone in the crowd crane their heads towards me, I grabbed the dragon's snout and held it to make it look directly at me.

"Can you understand what I'm saying, ye olde mystical creature of yore?"

The dragon, in response, growled.

Then licked the helmet of the CMS.

"Damnit."

Cursing my luck, I was about to start leaving the vicinity when I realized an important factor, making me halt midstep.

Did they say spells?

Are they talking about magic?

…

I'm not in Kansas anymore, that's a definite thing now. Or rather, I'm not about 20 miles south of Sendai anymore. That's more accurate.

I'm not home.

…

I wanna go home, damnit.

"I want to go home."

That sentence made Louise pause in her rant against some redhead in the crowd. Turning towards me and noting the way I had halted, she addressed me in a rather haughty tone, a smirk forming on her face. "Whatever do you mean? You were summoned specifically to become my familiar. You're destined to be my familiar, you commoner."

My eye twitched, and I keyed the helmet to fold away, allowing myself to adopt a cold air and stare at her. "Is that so," I queried, my voice giving more of a statement than a question.

The smirk was wiped away at the near freezing glare I was giving her. I could also practically feel the tension between us ratchet up several notches. I guess the entitled looking girl wasn't suspecting someone so carefree and eccentric to look so cold and hateful.

I'm not a slave, you damned girl.

"Do you think you're entitled to enslave someone? Do you think that I'd honestly not object, that I would just let you seal the deal with a kiss and a smile and a blush?"

She seemed honestly shocked at that. Good, I was right in my assumption.

"I need to go home. My teammates are out there, dying for the sake of a human civilization that is at risk of destruction from giant, man-eating birds. I don't have the time to waste arguing with a stuck-up, snot nosed brat that probably doesn't even need change by herself because she has servants. What, you think that once you enslave me, if at all, I'd dress you every morning? I'm hardly a tool, and I'd rather kill myself than be enslaved by whatever the fuck magic you people can do."

I focused my glare on her even harder, and bore down completely on her. By now, the crowd was laughing profusely at her, obviously finding it hilarious that I had broken her down so effectively. Louise was in shock at this point, and she was flushed red and seemed embarrassed at the way the situation had turned out.

No sympathy from me, though. She wasn't worth it. However, I did know what to do instead of cutting loose with a show of force, which would probably just kill me from strain more than anything else. However, I did know what I could do.

I'm hardly the most magical person to get myself back home. I can only conclude from observation alone, with no prior knowledge, that I could not get home without magical assistance. I needed these people to help.

I may actually need her help. I don't know shit about magic, but something is telling me that summoning a thing, anything, from across a freaking world, maybe even dimension, means that she had the raw power to send me back.

Gods, please don't damn me to hell because of what may happen next.

I let my glare die off, much to the relief of the girl, already having suffered under the laughing of the unsuspecting crowd and my glare of doom.

"Come here and finish your goddamned ritual then. If you have the guts to do it, that is. If you do, however, we work as equals. None of that bullshit 'do everything for me', got it?"

The girl gave a shaky nod.

With that, I kneeled so she could deliver her damned kiss. I made sure to pull away after exactly one second, however, which was the absolute limit I was willing to stand.

_Honestly, I'm not a pedophile. Don't send me to hell. _

Then I was on fire.

Not my whole body, mind you, and not in the literal sense either. It was more like having a dose of concentrated, liquid, and burning hot radiation injected into your body.

It hurt.

Like the ever increasing pain in my head.

After a good thirty seconds of a scream of pain, I collapsed yet again, panting with the exertion of the scream. This was when the old man from before walked up to me. Leaving Louise to the peanut gallery that had started laughing at her again about "summoning a commoner", or something of that nature, I craned my head to pay attention to the balding man.

Cue more pain in my head.

"Uh, please sir, let me see your hand. I need to see the runes."

I showed him my armored hand, only for him to shake his head, prompting me to moan. "Sorry, but I need the actual hand. If you could remove your armor for naught but a second, that's all I need." Goddamnit, I was already exhausted, why couldn't I catch a freaking break? Not only that, but my migraine was only getting worse. I may have to look into the situation at this rate. Now I just need to get them all away from me.

Cue even more pain.

"Sorry, old man, but that's not happening. This armor is staying on until I can trust you people. Lord knows what side effects that ritual will do now. I'd rather stay like this, thankee-sai."

He seemed confused at my terminology, but that's just too bad. "Go ahead and leave, I'll be ok here."

With a nod, and a look that promised he and I would be talking about that later, he dismissed the children, and soon enough everyone but Louise had left the area, leaving me to deal with the growing pain in my head.

"Don't worry about me, Louise. I got to do something. I guess you could call it meditation. Go home or whatever and let me do my thing, ok?"

Not waiting for an answer, I let myself fall into a trance, lying down and all, and I entered that of which even few Kaiser can access.

The mindscape.

XXX

The first thing I noticed was that I was actually being pulled into my own mindscape, and that something not of my origin was extremely pissed off.

The second thing is that, instead of the actual area being blank with nothing in it, there was a man standing there.

What?

He looked as if he were thirty-odd years old, and he held a staff in his right hand, with his empty left hand clenched into a fist so tight he was bleeding from that fist a little.

Well, time to get answers.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my head?"

The guy glowered at me, obviously pissed at the way I was addressing him.

"What do you mean 'who are you'!" the guy roared in rage. It was obvious he was venting.

"The rune on your hand is supposed to take control of your mind! Make you forget of the time before you came here! Make you more powerful than ever! It's supposed to completely corrupt your mind and turn you into a heartless killing shield for the new void user!"

This was when I noticed the ground around us warp and bend. My head simultaneously got even worse, and I stumbled to the ground in pain. The man pointed his staff at me, and I noticed a very faint sign of seemingly invisible energy gather at the business end of the guy's stick.

"I don't know what the fuck you're doing to resist, but I'll be damned if I don't control your ass! In the name of the great Founder Brimir, you will fall to the void's beckoning! **Explosion!**"

The energy suddenly coalesced into a sphere, and it was launched at me almost as fast as a bullet. Stumbling to my feet and utilizing the boosters on the CMS, I was barely able to dodge the ball, and it exploded where I once stood, the shockwave and heat slamming into me like a freight train, singeing the armor and sending me flying through the theoretically infinite air.

As I hit the ground and bounced like a skipping stone on water, I very clearly saw this Brimir chase after me, more energy forming around him like a shroud, and his robes flapping due to yet more unseen energy.

Just how powerful was this guy?

Naturally, he was underestimating me, for when he leapt high into the air with murderous intent, I used the boosters again and rocketed to the ground faster than he could react.

"**Explosion!**"

The sphere flew off and exploded in the distance, and the only equivalent I had to match that kind of power was a Simeon missile, notorious for their large payload.

That was bad.

Coughing due to the lack of air in my lungs, I turned to look at the landing Brimir with a grin.

"Don't think I'm defenseless now!"

Opening my right hand palm up, I channeled telekinetic energy to that area, and a very visible sphere of energy formed. Setting it in front of me and making as if to shoot it right there, I most definitely surprised Brimir when I instead withdrew the hand instead, leaving the sphere hovering in place. Attaching a 'tether' of more energy to the sphere and to my right hand, now balled into a fist, I drew back my fist as if to throw a jab.

"**Thump!**"

The **Thumper** was a technique all Kaisers learned to use when they were able to properly channel telekinetic energy. It essentially turned the user into a firing pin, and the sphere was turned into the cannon ball. The sphere, if channeled properly and given the proper kinetic force to launch it hard enough, could pierce tank armor, and could even damage kaiju, though with the cost being a huge chunk of telekinetic energy.

I was banking it all on this shot. As the ball rocketed at speeds faster than what most Kaisers could safely dodge, I knew, instinctively, that I couldn't win in a straight up brawl with Brimir. That magic was just too powerful.

So when the **Thumper** disappeared, so did my hope.

"**Magnet!**"

What?

The ball was absorbed into a wall that seemed to shimmer at the slightest stirring of the 'wind', and the shroud around Brimir grew even larger. He began laughing manically even as the wall seemed to solidify and grow exponentially larger, to where it could have stopped a kaiju from stepping over.

"You fool! You should be ready for every possibility when battling an unknown enemy!"

Grimacing in pain from the exertion of the failed attack, I was left with only one option.

I drew the K908.

As soon as the blade had finished unfolding, I left a surge of strength, and the headache from before faded almost into nothing, though a small twinge was still present. So this was the power the rune bestowed? It seemed only to activate when I held a weapon, but still. I could get used to this.

Brimir scowled my way and waved a hand. "Like I'm letting you do that!"

Just like that, the power surge was gone, and I was left in my original weakened state. That was when it clicked, however.

I was fighting the rune. The rune the old man had mentioned. It was trying to control me, take over my mind. I was fighting the damned rune directly.

As if sensing my thoughts, and it probably could, the rune's mental representation grinned savagely at me. Using that seemingly infinite power, he waved his staff and whispered something inaudible, which caused five stone…things to rise from the ground.

Humanoid in shape, they towered over me at what I could only guess was four meters tall. "With these golems and my magic, you'll be defeated in no time!"

Fuck.

The next few minutes, I can honestly say I can't remember that well. I do remember pain, the sound of bones breaking, blood spurting, armor shattering, explosions ringing out seemingly every three seconds.

What I do remember was the aftermath though. I was shattered, a broken man. Blood poured from gaping holes in the armor made from the golems, and I had severe burns from the sheer heat of the explosions.

All in all, I was literal shit incarnate.

Even as I laid there, and the golems and Brimir prepared for one final strike, I was able to reflect on that losing battle, and on the life I was about to leave.

Then something had hit me.

His speech patterns.

Those attacks.

That shroud.

The location in which my losing battle had occurred.

It all made sense.

…

I could win.

I could do this!

A burst of power, with me as its source, flung out in all directions, disintegrating the golems that had gathered around me. I stumbled to my feet, the pain falling away, my wounds and armor regenerating, the gods-damned headache disappearing.

I grinned up to Brmir, who was hovering in mid-air due to some unseen magic. He scowled back at me.

"In order to beat the cliché…"

I clenched my fist, and an evil smirk adorned my face.

"…I must become the cliché."

A gong echoed in the distance, coincidentally ringing out with the savage laugh I let loose from my mind.

"RISE!"

Three forms literally formed from the 'ground' upon which I was standing.

One at sixty meters tall, and the other two and a whopping one hundred and ten meters tall.

MechaGodzilla: Simeon model.

MechaGodzilla: EDF model.

Jet Jaguar.

Three of the most powerful mechs ever seen by the people of my home.

And their ire was centered on Brimir.

"VOLLEY!"

Beam palms. Two fully powered arsenals. All three launched in a massive slavo and created a massive explosion centered around Brimir.

And he walked out of it unscathed, save for looking a little shocked. Jesus Christ, how much abuse could this guy take?

He waved his staff, and three more golems of stone rose, each one matching the height of the mech they were to face.

With a wave of my hand and his staff, they clashed in what was the most impressive display of brute I had ever seen.

This left only myself to deal with Brimir, though.

Good.

"Hmph. You're fighting to kill, and if you kill me, you die too. I've gotten to your heart, and I've tied its existence to mine. If I die here, then you're dead in seconds," Brimir declared with a triumphant grin.

"So?"

This response made Brimir falter. "What do you mean 'so'? Don't you see, you imbecile, you NEED me!"

This idiot had obviously thought he was God here. But the realization dawned on him even as I spoke.

"With the mind, anything is possible. **World…**"

My right fist clenched, and it slammed into the 'ground'.

"**Shaking!**"

Thanks, Sailor Senshi.

…

Hey, just because Sailor Moon was a children's show didn't mean it wasn't awesome! My freaking squad watches it too!

The sphere of pure energy slammed into the shocked Brimir with the force of a category ten earthquake, knocking him off his feet and sending him flying off a good distance away.

With a grin, I chased after him, my next attack already in my palm, only to see him rocketing towards me, a murderous gleam in his eyes.

"**Explosion!**"

"Nah."

With nary a thought, the explosive ball was knocked aside with a mere swipe of my armored gauntlet, and the resulting explosion sent me forward even faster. Combined with the perfect timing of the CMS boosters, and I was a human missile, faster than even his magic-enhanced reflexes could catch.

"**Rasengan!**"

The spiraling sphere slammed him in the gut, and it drilled into him before detonating in a massive explosion of telekinetic energy, sending him flying yet again.

Taking the time to stand and observe the titanic battle going on in the background, I called out to the inner reaches of my mind.

"Come out here, girls."

If I had to call out the Sailor Senshi to help beat this guy, it only went to show just how clichéd I had to be.

"Give that jerk over there the final attack, I'll defend you girls."

With an affirmative sounding from the physical representations of the planets of the solar system, I looked to the 'north' again, seeing the absolutely massive shroud of power looming over the relatively small figure of Brimir, who was roaring in rage.

"I WILL KILL YOUR MIND AND TURN YOU INTO THE SLAVE OF THE VOID! SHE WILL ORDER YOU TO DIE AT HER FEET AND YOU'LL DO IT WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE! DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

Drawing my K908, now sheathed in the telltale sign of Gundam beam technology, I turned back towards the bastard of a rune who dared tried to kill me.

"Kaisers always win, Brimir."

With that, the massive lance of energy the shroud had formed into shot at me with speeds that made it a hypersonic laser.

Perfect.

With nary a movement, I brought the sword into position and let the void energy hit me dead on. The beam energy of my sword expanded into a massive heater shield, and I threw all my power into holding the lance back, holding true on my promise to defend the Sailor Senshi.

I was like an extremely overpowered Tuxedo Kamen.

"**Mars Star Power! Jupiter Star Power! Venus Star Power! Mercury Star Power! Moon Crystal Power!**"

"**Sailor Planet ATTACK!**"

Game over, Brimir.

The rainbow beam completely demolished the lance trying to bore through my shield, and it slammed into the rune like a Spiral Heat Beam, hitting from above and driving him into a crater in the 'ground'.

Dismissing the girls, I looked to the crater, several meters deep and several meters in diameter. Damn, was I going to miss throwing around god-tier power like that. I may just come back later to train, too. It seemed to be very useful for meditation and such, so who knows.

Or maybe not. I'd rather not go completely mad with power and stay in my mindscape for so long, my perception of what is reality or not is skewed irreversibly.

Imagine my surprise when the rune climbs out of the crater and stumbles to his feet.

Hmph. Won't let him get a hit in this time.

"**X…**"

Purple energy formed at my fingers.

"**Harem…**"

It coalesced into a ball.

"**ATTACK!**"

It was launched.

After the massive amount of smoke dispersed, it all faded away to show the rune making lewd groping gestures, a nosebleed very evident, as the fifty extremely sexy women surrounded him. Brimir looked like he was healing on the spot and everything. It was like hot women powered him up.

The attack, cooked up on the spot, was made so that all entities formed from the smoke of the attack would swarm the target with obvious intent. Now, time to win.

"**REVERSO!**"

Kinda dumb sounding, but it did the job. In another massive explosion of smoke, the hot women changed, shape shifted, became deadlier, faster.

Manlier.

What was once fifty hot women was now fifty extremely buff men, all wearing nothing but Speedos. All of them wore a large bear mask, making them all look like half-assed mascots for some football game. Brimir was frozen in shock, and he looked at me with a pleading look in his eyes.

"Attack."

After about two minutes of this mosh pit had gone on, I dismissed the bear-men, leaving Brimir in his crater. I then took the next minute to materialize bleach, set a timer that had oh so conveniently been placed there, and set it to two minutes. I then opened my skull, located the piece of memory containing this event, and poured the bleach all over it, making sure to add in censor bars for good measure. Even after doing this, however, I simply couldn't stop the sounds of grunting and slurping from coming through these whited-out two minutes. That, and a single, shadowy image of an extremely buff humanoid figure with a large, rounded head, tiny ears barely visible on either side.

Fuck.

Looking into the crater, I observed the poor rune lying in the crater at an odd angle. His skin, hair, and eyes were completely white, and he was frothing at the mouth, seemingly completely gone from this plane of existence. That was when I noticed the stain-

Quickly turning around, I lifted the poor bastard using telekinesis, and I dragged him across the ground towards a relatively unscathed part of the 'ground', not wanting to touch him.

Creating a cage, I threw the rune into it and sealed it tight, barely giving him space to stand up or move around. I then suspended the cage over the pit, and filled it with more of the bear-men. You could barely see their figures in the shadows, lurking, waiting for their prey.

With that problem out of the way, I exited out of the mindscape.

Time to see what I had missed.

XXX

I awoke to Louise hovering directly over me, a riding crop in her hands and a murderous gleam in her eyes. What I could only describe as an aura of darkness was behind her, and I could just make out the gleaming eyes and the round head, tiny ears poking from the sides.

PleasebeadreampleasebeadreampleaseBEADREAM

I blinked, and the scene changed, much to my infinite relief.

I immediately noticed the pink hair off to my right, its owner talking to a teen in a maid outfit, a table and three chairs set out in the night sky. The maid held with her a small book, and the small Louise seemed to be getting along with her well.

I sat up, and that movement drew the pink-ette's eye, as well as the maid. Louise developed a twitch over her left eye as she watched me stand back up and take a seat in between the maid and the small void user.

Grinning at Louise, I spoke up.

"We need to talk."

XXX

…

…

…

_**Bio here.**_

…

_**So. Yeah.**_

_**This is a thing.**_

_**Before ya'll think this is a crackfic:**_

_**It isn't.**_

_**This chapter was the intro, and the battle, while rather short, was meant to show how eccentric the main character is. He may be a military man, but there's a very valid reason why he acts the way he does, which will be revealed…eventually.**_

_**Yes, he is a Kaiser, and yes, I'm borrowing from the Solar Union.**_

_**This idea was kicking in my head for so long I was forced to write it lest it drive me insane.**_

_**The character's name will be shown next chapter, and the third chapter of the Solar Union is in progress.**_

_**Hopefully, you readers will enjoy this little tale.**_

_**More info will be shown later.**_

_**Also, if you guys really wanted to, add me as a friend on Steam. Look up 'Biollante', no quotations, and look for the profile picture of, well, Biollante. The games I play should be things like Binding of Isaac or FTL: Faster Than Light, along with other notable games. Once you send it and I accept, just to make sure, message that profile asking if it is me. If yes, you found me. Maybe I can get to know the readers, you guys, better via copious amounts of gaming.**_

_**See ya'll later.**_

_**Bio out.**_


	2. Dear Gods Why?

_Bio here._

_Nothing of note to, well, take note of, so onwards._

_Also, go check out The Solar Union, my first story. You may like it. Also go check out my buddy, Spartan111MS. He's got a hell of a good story up even if its only started, and I'm in it! If you go check it out, which I recommend you do if you love Fallout and small unit tactics, try and guess who I am._

_On with the insanity._

…

XXX

I hate myself.

No, I am not suddenly emo, or goth, or whatever the hell.

Rather, I've suddenly realized that I may have an extremely insane group of people to work with here. I hate myself in particular because I know for a fact that insanity only draws in more insanity. That's a no-no with me, for that just breeds even more insanity when I get insane with the new insane people.

Imagine my surprise when the two people I've known for approximately twenty minutes in total show mannerisms one wouldn't find out of place in an anime.

You heard me right.

The initial start of this terrifying revelation was when I had sat down in the chair set out by the maid recruited by Louise, where I told her we needed to talk.

She had responded by slugging me in the face with a savage right hook, then had pulled me into a hug the literal second after the hook.

"What?" I asked in a daze, my jaw bruised and sore. I was pretty sure I could also hear the armor groaning under the pressure the pink-ette was putting into the embrace. Goddamn, she was even stronger than my ex. I was suddenly very glad for my armor.

"YOU IDIOT! IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD DIED WHILE DOING YOUR STUPID MEDITATION!"

That was when I noticed a couple of bowls that looked damp. Then I saw the towel on the floor, which was also damp. I managed to very quickly put two and two together.

"Didn't I tell you not to worry, silly girl?"

She looked up at me and scowled so hard I was afraid her face would stick.

"You tell me not to worry, only to start screaming in pain after only several minutes! I naturally had to go and look after you, and that was when you started to shake as if you were possessed!"

That was probably when my sense of self was about to be stamped out of existence, but oh how right she was.

"You're going to tell me exactly what was happening while you were 'meditating' or you're not getting fed for a week! Stupid animal! How dare you make your master worry only minutes after her summoning you! You would usually never get such nice treatment from me, a noble!"

That was when she sobbed a little. Apparently, even a human as stuck up as her was able to feel emotion besides anger, and she was making that obvious now.

I guess my earlier accusing speech after I was summoned was correct about her being entitled. Deciding to get an early feel for the other person seated with us, I went ahead and took the time to observe her.

Looking at the maid that had reportedly helped my small summoner to take care of me while I had fought my epic battle for my sense of self, cliché and all, I immediately noticed that she was of Japanese descent, no doubt about it. No one else in any world could possibly have that dark of a hair color and eye color, and have those very particular eye slants. I could tell very easily that she was beautiful, and she'd have attracted a lot of attention back home.

"Hey, are you even listening to me!?"

Oh right, Louise was in the middle of her tirade of passion and anger. Better refocus my attention.

"Yes, of course I was, Louise."

"Then why were you looking at that maid!? You're only supposed to look at me!"

…

What the fuck did she just say?

"What did you just say, Louise?"

Another punch to the jaw, making my head whip back so hard I swear it should have snapped.

"You heard exactly what I said, you perverted dog!"

She honestly thought I was perverted enough to have been blatantly ogling the maid. The maid herself apparently thought the same thing under this night sky, for she blushed profusely at my apparent ogling.

I am not a pedophile, goddamnit.

"M-my name is Siesta, sir. Mistress Louise here required my assistance after realizing you would need more intensive care with your night terror, so I went ahead and gathered water to cool you down while you struggled with whatever was troubling you," she said, blinking at me in a rather cute way and holding her book close to her-

Don't you dare finish that train of thought brain, I don't care how big and impossible they are.

She continued to speak despite my mental bout with the few hormones I had left in me from my time as a teen. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Master…?" she trailed off.

It had hit me that no one in this world knew my name.

Louise reinforced that thought by speaking out again, now mostly recovered from her bouts of emotion. "Hey, that's true! You know my name only from listening to those dumb students calling me Louise the Zero!"

She suddenly calmed. "Please, tell me your name," she said tentatively, sounding less like an angry noble and more like a shy girl.

I grinned down at her slightly worried expression, and then at Siesta's curious gaze, who was still blushing a bit from the earlier assumption.

Time to introduce myself.

"My name is Tsukino Shinoda. Please, call me Shinoda. I'll be in your care Misses Louise, Siesta."

I plopped Louise on her chair like she was a little girl, and I preformed a bow for them, waist high, standard issue Japanese culture norms. The two girls blinked, then they both stood up and bowed right back, almost identical to me, except for Siesta bowing deeper and Louise bowing more shallow-y.

"Part of the military from the world you summoned me from, friend to all turtles and moths, and a very devoted hater, and sometimes killer, of all birds," I said with a smirk forming on my face. "I am one of many unique individuals known in my world as a Kaiser, one of the most powerful humans on the planet, not to toot my own horn."

The smirk falling off my face as I turned serious all of a sudden, I turned to Louise, who seemed to be digesting the information I had so brazenly stated to the two girls. "And to answer your earlier question, I was screaming in pain because the stupid rune of my hand nearly killed off my sense of self." My arms folded, and I waited for the inevitable questions.

Sure enough, the pinkette gained a rather serious expression. "Explain yourself, Shinoda." Oddly enough, the maid also had a serious look on her face, and she nodded her head in agreement.

Huh. Story time.

"Listen well, then."

XXX

Louise and Siesta sat in silence after I finished the epic tale of my conversation/battle with the rune engraved onto my hand. I could understand their lack of speech right off the bat, though. It was a lot to take in, that's for sure.

Though, I had only told them what I thought they needed to hear. I didn't mention how the rune could only form from a void user. Something told me that that void magic crap Brimir was using was very potent and rare. It wouldn't do to inflate her ego or make something unnecessary happen.

Maybe that old man from before knew. That look he had given me, it seemed both curious and condemning at the same time. Yet, I found myself looking forward to that encounter.

Not even a day here and I had apparently broken nearly all expectations set in this world. Great.

"So…"

I turned towards Louise, and she perked up at the attention and began to speak.

"After completing the summoning ritual, the rune that was burned onto you started to try to take control of your mind, trying to subvert you to my will. After the rune, which apparently manifested in the form of the Founder, nearly killed off your sense of self, which was when I saw you start to seize up, you retaliated and defeated the rune, but you could not kill him due to him being directly tied to your life. He is now strung up in a cage of all things after losing in a battle of these _clichés_, and you awoke to us conversing like we were doing just a while ago."

"Correct, ma'am."

…

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Just what kind of a troublesome familiar have I summoned?" She asked wearily to the sky, as if questioning the gods themselves.

I, thankfully, had a great answer.

"The kind of familiar that is most likely insane, little Louise."

Another explosive sigh.

"Yes, I can tell that very clearly, dog."

She wasn't calling me by my name, but that was ok. There was probably plenty of time to get to know one another.

We heard a giggle from our helpful maid, and we turned to her, watching her try not to giggle and fail horribly. "My apologies, Mistress Louise and Master Tsukino. So short a time you've know each other, and yet so close already." She gave Louise a sly smile.

The final hint to my inner accusation of the world I found myself in was cemented with Louise's reaction to this statement.

"W-What are you talking about you insolent maid? Hmph! He should know very well, no matter how impressive he looks, that he is still just a familiar, at the beck and call of his master and summoner!"

That was when I knew for sure. I had seen my fair share of animes, both of action and romance, and usually, the main character of such plots tended to be…

My eye twitched in realization, and I pointed my left index finger at the girl still going on and on about how I was the dog and how Siesta shouldn't assume anything would happen between us.

"You're a tsundere!"

She paused mid-rant/speech, and she turned towards me. A twitch developed over her right eye, and I marveled at how similar it looked to my own.

"Please, explain to me what that is and how I fall under such a term."

This was said calmly, but I knew from first-hand experience that she could very easily whip out more of her explosions and completely demolish me.

…

Better tell her the truth.

"You see, Louise, I've noticed that your behavior, probably stemming from your upbringing, makes it very obvious that you are privileged. You also suffer from constant mood swings, usually from extremely angry to docile, shy and cute. In my world, such people, usually girls, are called tsunderes, with the tsun being the angry and the dere being the cute."

I was like a lecturer, complete with hand gestures and even a little bit of pacing. Now I could add teacher to the potential list of future jobs, which so far amounted to two if you counted matador-ing as a career.

I could hope bulls were native to this continent, wherever we were.

Unfortunately for me, the truth did the exact opposite of what I hoped would happen. Instead of becoming calm or even curious, I could see the brimstone in her eyes as she pulled out her stick of destiny, prompting Siesta to make a hasty retreat her eyes wide with fear gained from prior encounters with the explosive pink-ette.

Let it be said that prior experience NEVER makes one prepared when it comes to dealing with tsunderes.

"**FIREBALL!**"

Time to run!

XXX

After her tantrum ended, we bid farewell to the maid, who promised us that she would see us again tomorrow. The moons – that's right, this damn world had TWO of the things – were suspended in the night sky, framed by stars in a position I could only assume was midnight.

If this world didn't have a twenty four hour day, I was so screwed for the next week.

I had bigger worries though, because I was still going over the information Louise had given me in regards to her world. What notably stood out was the fact that this Brimir was apparently really important to these people, and had fought off elves in numbers before, which was apparently a feat of extreme note. Not only that, but the magic he used, the void, was so impossibly rare, it was thought to be extinct, and had been basically classified as a forbidden and practically dead magic.

That and the flying continent. It sounded so impossible I had to see it. Then I could die knowing I had seen such a wonder.

She promised to tell me more tomorrow, seeing as how she was under the assumption that classes would be, for the most part, cancelled due to the summoners needing to get to know their summons better.

Fascinating.

This school was also really famous for training practically all the nobles in this country of Tristain in the usage of magic. It just so happened that Louise exploded anything and everything she tried to cast magic on, and her failures lead her to be nicknamed "Lousie the Zero".

It made me wonder just how much of that I could tolerate listening to before going on a murder spree. If there was one thing I hated more than birds or the Gyaos, it was bullies and bigotry.

I had let Louise know as much as we climbed one of the towers up to where her room was, and she looked appalled at the thought.

"N-no! You're not allowed to kill anyone that calls me that name!" She eased off to the side and grumbled a few lines under her breath that she probably thought I couldn't hear. _"As much as I want you to."_

Oh, but how I could hear the pleading tone in her voice. I knew more than anything else she wanted nothing more than for all the haters to be executed for her entertainment.

She was going to be dreaming of blood tonight.

"Whatever you say, Louise."

I was still exhausted, despite my one-sided bantering, and I really could not wait to go to sleep. Between hitting the surface of a planet at terminal velocity, getting exploded, kicked by a freaking dragon, and successfully – albeit barely- defeating the mental representation of a magical rune hellbent on controlling me in a battle of clichés, I realized I could really use the rest.

How did my life become so full of weirdness like this so quickly? Not to say my home dimension was any better, considering the giant radioactive lizard, flying semi-mystical turtle, and huge not-birds that shot hypersonic lasers from their mouths.

Goddamn, what kind of gods would allow such dimensions to exist?

I put my thoughts away for another time, however, for we had come up to the pinkette's room, high up in the tower. I noticed her subtle yet visible glare towards one of her neighbors' doors, and I couldn't help but wonder just what kind of a jerk that person had to be for her to do that. I may be wrong, but she didn't seem like the kind of girl to scowl behind someone's back.

No, she was a classical tsundere, of course she'd grumble behind the backs of others.

But she mostly preferred to do that up in front of their faces, just to make it obvious.

That was when I heard it.

_Caaaaw!_

I think, in my heart, I had been subtly hoping to myself that, as much as impossible it would be to hope for, there would be no gods-forsaken birds in this new world I found myself in. Now, in complete defiance of my wishes, a crow of all things was in front of me and my summoner sitting on the glassless frame of the window and staring at me.

Yes, not her. The thing was purposefully looking at me. Maybe it could smell the blood of its inter-dimensional brethren on my K908.

_Caaaaw!_

"Oh shoo, go away you pesky bird," said Louise in a rather sleepy tone of voice as she gestured towards it in a very grandmotherly way. It was like she was trying to send her grandchildren off to sleep, and I suddenly found it hard to not laugh, even as I drew back my fist.

Before the sleepy Louise could comprehend what I was doing, I had delivered a savage punch to the crow, shattering most of its bones and rupturing organs with the relatively titanic blow, sending it careening out of the far window and into the night.

The potential void user yelped and looked at me incredulously. "W-why did you do that to that poor bird!?"

I turned to Louise in turn, not even blinking as I delivered my response. "If you feel any more sympathy for that stupid bird, I will decorate your room in the dead body parts of its brethren."

Not waiting for a response, I gestured to the door to her room. "Now then, wanna let us in?"

A gasp and a scream was heard from down below, and I looked back out the window where the bird once stood to see what the ruckus was about.

Some blonde playboy wannabe, wearing a rather ridiculous ensemble and cape, had had the very unfortunate luck of having the dead bird fall onto his head, and not only did the bird knock him down, it also began to bleed profusely on him, soaking his once 'glorious' clothes in bird blood. I almost felt sorry, except he looked like a stereotypical pretty-boy douchebag, so that slight sympathy was quickly negated. The poor girl next to the victim of the dead bird was struggling to not laugh, and somehow managed to not only not laugh, but also look a little horrified at the gruesome mess I had made the bird turn into. Maybe he had been trying to seduce her or something equally stupid when the bird attacked him.

Louise was laughing out loud at this boy's sorrow and disgust over the bird, and I could tell she was genuinely happy at what had happened, but still a little off-put as to the method in which it happened. I held my earlier grin and directed it towards her. It was easy enough to tell not many people recognized her and acknowledged her as even a decent person, let alone a powerful person, magic or otherwise. She simply wanted to be known as someone other than the important political person she was, being a noble and all.

Outside of that endeavor, of which I could tell I would be dragged into, she needed to act young sometimes too, like right now. Laughter could cure the most ill of heart, I should know.

"C'mon, _master_, let's go to sleep already," I said teasingly, making sure the sarcasm of the whole situation I had found myself into shone through. Laughter dying off, she nodded and opened the door to her room, and we were quickly knocked out, with her cooing and me snoring. It was like we'd been living together all our lives.

That was scary.

She didn't even have a bed for me, unless you count the hay.

XXX

The next day, at around noon, found me staring at a rather peculiar sight.

You see, Louise, despite knowing very well I was a human being and not an animal, told me that all familiars were to stay outside during lunch, somehow refusing to remember that I was indeed human like her, at least appearance wise, and here I was.

There were many creatures about, ranging from regular dogs, cats, and toads to mystical things like flaming lizards and the blue dragon that was now eyeing me with an odd look on its face. However, nothing, not even the dragon, was as unique as the thing in front of me right now.

"What in the name of the gods ARE you?" I asked the floating eyeball-tendril-monster-thing in front of me. According to a conversation I had overheard, the thing was called a Bugbear. How that name came about for such an odd creature, I'll never know. Gods, I really wanted to poke its huge eye, its body really, but that would be rude.

Let it be known that my priorities are most definitely set straight.

"Of course a commoner such as you wouldn't know what such a creature is called", called out a haughty voice that somehow seemed familiar.

A quick glance behind me made it known that it was the blonde playboy from last night, another girl on his arm.

Oh, this was just too ripe to let go.

"Oh hey there, how are those clothes doing? Can you get the crow blood out of them?" I asked with a mischievous grin. Obviously, the blonde was sharper than I had originally thought, because he began sputtering and yelling simultaneously at me.

"That Founder-damned blood still can't come off! Wait, how do you know about that!?"

Maybe I was wrong. Still, may as well let it spill.

"I punched that bird off a window and you were unlucky, obviously. Also, how's that girl from last night, kid? What was her name? Katie? Katherine? I bet it was something with a K. Tell me I'm right, c'mon now."

His yelling had drawn attention from the dining hall, as several people had shown. A redhead with a bust I refused to believe was possible with her slim body-type, or artificial body modification, the bookish blue-haired girl from yesterday, the girl that was with the playboy last night, Louise, Siesta, and quite possibly the entire rest of the dining hall.

The first three girls' familiars went to them as the playboy ranted at me to keep my mouth shut. The flaming lizard, the blue dragon, and a Labrador retriever, respectively, went to those girls.

Siesta had a look of horror on her face, Louise was right behind her, the bluenette was reading another book, the redhead looked interested in passing, and the girl was furious, right in line with the girl on the playboy's arm.

A simultaneous screech, followed by the girlish rants from both girls, was heard echo in the school, drawing even more attention as the playboy the mother of all female rage-slaps for his troubles and dumped on the spot. Turns out the name of the first girl from last night was Katie, like I thought, and the other's was Montmorency something or other.

Shouldn't have been two-timing, bud. Everyone knows that if you're going out with multiple women at least make sure they know about each other, so rightful female righteous fury can be enacted; or maybe they decide to share you, like an old partner of mine. He was living every man's dream, and yet every man's worst nightmare at the same time.

As I began to walk away though, someone stopped me.

"You! You're the one that caused those poor girls to have their heart broken! This is your fault commoner!"

Not necessarily, bud. Though I could understand the looks of horror on Siesta's and Louise's faces, for he drew his own stick of destiny, made to look like a rose of all cliché things. Was he really going to do this here?

"You and I shall duel by the slight you have made upon my honor! It shall be held in Vestri courtyard, if you are even capable of such a thought."

He was going three steps farther. And what did this kid know about fighting for honor? That was worthless as a cause to fight for. Myself and my teammates though, we fought for our survival, for our right to live. What did this kid think he was doing, claiming rights to fight for a cause so worthless?

Let it be known. I don't always take things seriously…and I'm a hypocrite, a really big hypocrite.

I found myself verbally accepting his request before I could stop myself though.

"As if you'd win, kid. You're way too soft."

What in the name of fuck had come over me? Why did I say that specific thing? Now Louise and Siesta were simultaneously dragging me away from the courtyard where the duel was to take place.

"You will die, you idiot! No matter how powerful you may be to ruin the power of the rune to control you, that's different outside of your mind! A noble will always win when fighting a commoner!"

Siesta was nodding her consent to that statement made by Louise so hard I was afraid she'd snap her neck in agreement.

"Sorry, Louise, but I'm gonna do this. If I'm really to defend you as I was summoned for, I may as well get a feel for fighting you nobles."

Horribly flawed logic, made up on the spot by a mind probably insane by normal standards. I honestly just wanted to beat the crap out of the playboy for two-timing, to teach him a lesson. It worked however, as Louise dropped the arm she was pulling, a stunned look on her face. I would need to act quickly, before she recovered.

I directed a grin towards Siesta, and she blushed so hard she yelped, made a noise sounding suspiciously like "Kyaaah", and dropped the other arm.

Perfect, that actually worked.

Onwards!

XXX

Word spreads quickly in this academy, damn gossip, because when I arrived at the courtyard a rather large crowd had formed. The playboy idiot was posing like a douchebag, and he loosely held his rose of destiny in his right hand.

"Well now, commoner! Are you ready to be defeated by the great Guiche de Gramont? I shall not go easy on you, so you may wish to surrender while you can still move!"

I simply shook my head and keyed my helmet to fold onto my head, an obvious challenge. Guiche grit his teeth in anger, and then sent a chilling smile my way.

"My runic name is Guiche the Bronze and I shall show you why! You shall fight my Bronze Valkyries!"

He waved his stick, and a rose petal disconnected from it. It floated gently to the ground, then it made a freaking suit of armor in the figure of a female, to spring up from the ground. It was about two meters tall, if not a little taller, and actually had a combat oriented design with a bit of flair added in for effect.

Whoa. It was pretty cool to watch the things being created, I had to admit.

"Prepare to for your punishment, commoner!"

With that, the armor charged, zweilhander held high for a strike meant to kill in one hit. I grinned at it, and held my ground.

I had a hunch about the armor charging me, so let's see if I'm right.

The armor got within range, and the zweilhander came down in a savage blow.

"SHINODA!"

The simultaneous cries of Louise and Siesta were heard, and I could only guess they were appalled, shocked, and scared by my lack of action all at once.

Instead of me being cleaved in two, like all present had thought I'm sure, the large German sword _bent, cracked, _and then_ split_ around my helmet. It gave off a loud ring from the impact, the obvious sound of metal clashing against metal.

There was a good deal of force behind that swing, but nothing to worry about too much. I've fought Gyaos with more punch than that, hypersonic beam and all. The blunt force of the blow rattled my brains a bit, but that was about it.

The armor drew back the now half a sword and swung the remainder in a horizontal swing, trying to get another shot in.

Not happening.

My left hand reached out, and I caught the jagged edge of the sword, no real effort put into it.

Silence is sometimes deafening in quantity. That was most definitely the case here.

With a squeeze, I shattered the remainder of the blade in my hand then, before the armor could react, I leapt up to its face and delivered a punch at full power. My armored fist tore right through its empty armored face, and it crumpled as I pulled back to avoid any other tricks the armor had. Surprisingly, though, it simply collapsed.

The armor could not pierce NT-1 armor plating, and were bound by the limitations of a mind limited by mortality.

Perfect.

"T-That was just a fluke!" Guiche cried out as he waved the rose again. This time, ten of the petals were disconnected, and ten Valkyries sprung up. Three had spears, three more had the traditional European sword/shield combo, and the rest had really big axes that looked balanced enough to throw.

Time for the insanity factor.

I unfolded my helmet, and Guiche laughed out to me. "Are you surrendering, commoner? I would not be surprised."

In response, I began to laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

"Lose to you? As if! Time to show you just how we Kaisers fight!"

Leaving my helmet off, I drew the K908, much to the whispering curiosity of the crowd.

Then I unfolded the blade, for all to see.

The moment the unfolding was finished, I could feel a warmth spread from my left hand to the rest of my body, and a surge of power shot through me. The runes apparently still worked, even while Brimir was still fucked over from our titanic fight of clichés, though it was much less than before. Maybe it had something to do with Brimir being an asshole.

I could see many of the crowd, Siesta and Louise included, were mystified by the design of the blade that sprang from the handle. Katana style blades must not have been too common out here, if at all.

"Bring it on, ya two-timing baby-faced pansy!"

With a yell of rage, he waved his wand, and in traditional unit tactics, the Valkyrie squad advanced, five to a squad, with two swords, two spears, and an axe in one, and the rest in the other.

Maybe I'll actually get a workout now, huh?

Common radio tactics in my old squad dictate we voice when we're about to engage in combat. It helps with the whole attention and mission recording issue, and sounds cool in general. Oh! You can't forget we were all anime nerds, after all. Gods bless Gundam.

My eyes hardened as I set my weight forwards and held my blade diagonally. "Kaiser Shinoda, engaging Valkyries!"

The squad with the majority of axes attacked first, and I entered the fray swinging, a two-handed diagonal cut slicing two of the axes' arms and torsos off, dispelling them into useless heaps of mana-created bronze. Stooping low to avoid a stab from the spear, I was forced to use the CMS boosters to launch upward, away from a furious frenzy from the swords in the squads. It looked like the squads were capable of forming up into a large unit to compensate for the loss of the heavy hitters.

Boosting back down for momentum, I slammed into a spear like a missile, crumpling its torso and dispelling that, before slicing left to deflect another sword frenzy. Not only did I stop its blade, I also tore right through it and cut a deep gash through where its stomach was supposed to be. That would have been messy, had this thing been human.

Four down, six to go. I drew upon the rune's power, and on my own natural Kaiser abilities, and I knew nothing could keep up now.

In a flurry of laminated NT-1, I killed all but one of the Valkyries, an axe who somehow managed to parry the large slash aimed at it. The rest were left to crumple to finely halved pieces, dispelling right after. The axe responded to my murderous assault with an overhead chop, and I boosted right to avoid the chop, the poor bastard's axe embedding itself deep into the ground. Boosting away from it, I grinned, I was just showing off now.

It seems that, somehow, only persons of royal blood or noble blood could be mages. They probably respected those that knew how to use that magic, amongst other things.

The familiar feeling of stress entered, and the ball of telekinetic energy formed in my right hand, my left still holding the K908.

Place.

Tether.

Draw.

FIRE.

For dramatic effect, and habit more than anything else, I yelled out the name of my trademarked attack.

"**Thump!**"

The **Thumper** flew as fast as a bullet, and it tore right through the frail Valkyrie's armor like Goji's heat beam through buildings. The shot kept going, and it impacted the ground at Guiche's feet, kicking up a respectable shockwave from the remnant telekinetic energy.

Guiche was knocked off his feet looking completely stunned at how quickly I had defeated his little squad. A minute probably was too generous.

Naturally, the crowd was equally stunned at my show of force. The bluenette was staring at me with a curious intensity, Louise was shocked, Siesta was cheering my name like a cheerleader, Katie looked pretty happy, Montmorency looked the same, and the redhead was staring as well, a deep blu-

Nopenopenopenope. I refuse to believe she found me attractive. Her genetics didn't even make sense, for fucks sake! Biological impossibility I tell you! Biological Impossibility!

Pushing that terrifying thought out of my mind, I turned towards Guiche, who had managed to get back onto his feet pretty quick considering how close he was to the **Thumper**. He was panting hard though, and sweat was pouring down his face in torrents. Did their magic have a limit?

"So, looks like I won. Ready to die, you two-timing jackass?"

A look of pure unadulterated fear swam across his pretty-boy mug as he started to frantically back away from my leisurely paced stroll towards him, my katana gripped loosely in one hand. "What's the matter, Guiche? Face your death and don't dishonor your family name."

Gulping, he stopped as he neared the edge of the crows on his side, and I set the blade to his neck after catching up with him.

"Let this be a reminder, Guiche. Respect everyone you meet, no matter how much you may hate them. It may save your life in the future, and that is always a good thing if you have a dream to live up to."

Giving him a nick on the cheek as I drew the blade away to refold it, I began walking back to Siesta and Louise, who looked absolutely gobsmacked at what I had just done.

That was when I noticed the warmth from the rune's power had turned into a very tiny, nagging voice in my head. It sounded suspiciously like the rune, and it akin to a mouse, barely audible and honestly quite pathetic. I could just barely hear promises of riches and women beyond my wildest dreams if I just went into the mindscape. What the hell was Brimir trying to do? Goddamnit.

Sighing as I reached the two girls, I probably looked like a dejected animal as I took point in leading them from the crowd.

"S-Shinoda, what's the m-matter?" Louise stuttered out, obviously in shock from the supposedly incredible feats I had carried out. Maybe she was scared that I'd go and kill her too.

Of course I wouldn't do that, unless she decided to get a bird as a pet. Then I would be forced to assume she is a spy for the damned things, and she would die most painfully.

Don't get a bird, Louise. You too, Siesta.

"Louise, is there anywhere the three of us can go for some privacy? Something has come up, and we need to talk after I'm done with the rune again."

Siesta spoke up at this. "I know of a place where we could go, Master Tsukino."

"Lead the way, Siesta. And just call me Shinoda, by the way."

"Yes, Master Shinoda."

Goddamn maids.

XXX

The afternoon found us perched on a balcony overlooking the campus grounds. Siesta had went ahead and unlocked a storage room of sorts that was filled with all manners of magical items that even I was too afraid to mess around with, and past that corridor had been a balcony at the top of the tower. Here, we could easily talk in peace.

"I'll be right back, girls. Don't worry if you see me start to shake again, just keep any possible fevers down."

With the both of them nodding the affirmative, I delved into my mind to see exactly what the hell Brimir was doing.

XXX

I had been placed exactly where I had left in my last visit, directly in front of the cage and pit I had constructed to keep the rune caged in. Brimir, in his favor, looked much better than when I had last laid eyes on him. The terrible bruises, whited-out eyes, frothing mouth, and stains were gone, and he was looking almost exactly like before when I had first seen him.

That didn't change the fact that the bear-men in the pit had grown smarter. What took up the majority of what I could see was a massive pile of bear-men, stacked up upon one other in ridiculous and risqué poses, all to hold up a rather buff looking bear-man up to the cage. This particular one was in the process of prying open the bars to the cage its muscles bulging and its skin shining with a sheen sweat, much to the absolute terror of Brimir.

"HELP ME YOU IDIOTIC KAISER, HELP!"

Well, we can't have him go through that traumatic experience again, now can we? There's no guarantee he'll actually live.

With a sigh, I quickly channeled the power of imagination, and I clasped my hands together, making a finger gun.

"**Fire Soul!**"

The finger gun fired a huge bullet of flame, and the resulting explosion threw all of the hungry bear-men back into the pit. After making sure none of the things had escaped completely, I closed off the pit with a large metal grate, welded down into the edge of the pit and sealing it shut, allowing only air and light to pass. "You ok up there, Brimir?" I called out, noticing how he wasn't moving.

He jumped as I called him out and shakily nodded, looking very much relieved at my timely rescue.

A quiet sigh of relief escaping my lips, I closed the bars back up and was about to leave. However, the rune representation had other ideas.

"Shinoda."

I looked at the rune with curiosity as he wiggled around in his cage, trying to get comfortable. What was he trying to do?

"Look. I've been thinking since I regained consciousness, and I feel like…"

I patiently waited while he gathered his thoughts, the absolutely absurd thought of him declaring his love for me hanging in the back of my mind like a spider on its web. Check your wording, Brimir. Goddamnit man.

"We need to talk about working together."

Oh. Well then. That's…interesting.

Huh.

Brimir drove on, taking my silence as permission to speak. "I know you were trying to draw on my power, Shinoda, and I know you didn't get the full effect. That's because I'm limited while you trap me in this cage here. If you let me out of here, you can get the full power boost from me, as well as whatever explanation you want concerning this foreign dimension."

Wow, that's a sweet deal, isn't it? The full boost AND all the info I want.

"**Sparkling Wide Pressure!**"

The ball of electricity slammed into the cage and delivered a massive jolt of electricity to the poor rune, who yelled in pain and shuddered from the aftershocks, looking at me tiredly.

"I'm not going to believe you so easily when the first thing you do when you enter my mind is attempt to control me. You didn't even say hi, man! Who even does that!?"

Of course my priorities are straight, who says they're not?

"Y-yes, I'm sure you're angry because of that, but you just need to trust me. I can't help you fully like this, in this cage," he said with a frown. He actually looked upset at my lack of trust, like we were good friends and I wasn't trusting him with a comic book or something.

But what if he was telling the truth? I wouldn't know for sure unless I released him from that cage, and what if he actually tried to control me again and got the upper hand on me? There was no possible way I could safely-

Wait. Waitwaitwait. There was a way after all.

Channeling a burst of imagination, I conjured up a small, traditional Japanese-style flat, complete with the tatami and the futon. The only difference was that there were modern cooking items in the kitchen instead of Brimir's own primitive technology.

Brimir looked quite confused, and that confusion only grew as I constructed huge NT-1 walls about a 'mile' out in every direction, making a square encampment to prevent escaping.

Then I let him out of the cage, letting him drop to the floor.

Holding up a hand before he could move, I spoke.

"You will live in that house there, and you will be allowed to stay within the boundaries of these walls. Going past those walls means you are rebelling, and I will cast you into the dark pit, and I will make them rabid."

Smirking, I continued. "I also completely blocked off the connection to my organs and heart, so there's no way to get to my soft spots with alerting me. In return for allowing this modified freedom, you will allow the full power from the rune and whatever info I want or need to go through. Deal?"

Brimir huffed, looking a little miffed. It was obvious that he was the one who dictated deals like these, not the other way around. Well, that's what the bastard got for trying to kill me off. No sympathy from me.

It made me wonder just how long he had been manipulating others before I showed up. The rune, not the actual Founder.

"Hmph. Fine. Deal."

We shook hands, and I allowed a small shock to travel through myself to him, reminding him just who was in control, no matter how mutual the deal was. The smirk grew even more, and he adorned a small, confused frown at my glee.

"There will also be three bear-men living with you in there!"

The shocked look on his face, I will take to the grave with a smile on my face.

Snapping my fingers, I summoned up three bear-men, although these were different. Wearing black tuxedos, with a wireless headset upon their bear heads, and large over-sized sunglasses over their eyes, they were the perfect creatures-man-things to use in home defense.

"They will not attack you like the others. However, they will implement a strike system. Get three strikes from any of them due to suspicious activities, and…" I nodded to the bear-men.

All three of them barely had to flex to completely tear off the upper parts of the tuxedos, and the middle one, from the shreds of the suit, pulled out a purple bat that was automatically blur-censored by my mind due to its…phallic qualities. It wiggled in place as the bear-man gave it a few test swings to ensure it was properly working, and the bear-men stared at Brimir directly, a dull light shining through the sunglasses.

"Needless to say, you wouldn't last long. We'll talk later, the girls are probably getting worried. See ya later, buddy!"

Before Brimir could voice his scream of terror, I exited the mindscape.

It was so good to be insane.

XXX

Coming to, I saw it was almost sunset, and Louise looked a little worried, though not nearly as much as when I was having a seizure.

"Shinoda! Are you ok?"

"Yes of course Louise, in fact I couldn't be happier right now," I said with a sincere smile, which earned me a smile from her back. If I was getting through to her like that on the second day, it only meant good things in the future. Though, she was a tsundere. I probably shouldn't think so positively.

I noticed that Siesta had just walked out to the balcony, a platter of what looked like tea and all its sides on a tray she was expertly balancing with one hand. "Oh Master Shinoda, you are ok! That is very good. Here, come have a cup of tea with myself and Mistress Louise."

Gods, that was sketchy. I wondered just how possible a love potion was in this dimension. She was blushing slightly, after all.

"Uhhh, no thank you, Siesta. I'm not thirsty at the moment."

Better not risk it.

Is coffee a thing in this dimension?

_No, it isn't._

Now why is my subconscious responding to me? I thought I had already told it no wanton random murder.

_That's just disturbing, Shinoda._

Wait, Brimir? Is that you?

_Yes._

So you can hear me when I think.

_Unfortunately, yes._

Can you SEE my thoughts though?

_Are you imagining a plate of what you call tacos?_

Yes.

_I can see your thoughts outside the front window, Shinoda._

Noted.

…

And now?

_There is a bush. Shinoda, why is it shaking?_

…

Now?

_SHINODA!_

I don't think Brimir likes the bushy bear-man.

_I hate you, Shinoda._

Yeah yeah, whatever.

Looking back at the girls, I noticed that I was smiling evilly, looking off into the setting sun that was turning the sky a bloody red. It probably didn't help that I was chuckling as well, like an evil mastermind. It only reinforced the image that I was truly insane.

I love screwing over Brimir, I decided.

"Shinoda, why are you smiling like that?"

Turning that evil smile towards Louise, whose eye twitched at my antics, I replied. "Let's hope you never know, Louise."

Letting the smile drop and becoming serious, I looked at Louise.

"Let's talk about this world I find myself in, yes?"

At least, that would have been nice.

One second I was sitting with the girls, the next I was flying through the air picked up in the claws of the blue dragon from yesterday.

Insanity loves those it curses.

Craning my head up, I saw the bluenette from earlier today, still in her school clothes with an uncaring look on her face, staff in her right hand and yet another book in her left.

I would also definitely read a book while kidnapping someone, that would always make for an interesting picture.

I was also rather confused at my own actions. I hadn't even outwardly reacted aside from a tensing of my muscles and my nearly firing the CMS boosters to escape.

I need sleep. Even I can take only so much insanity, and this day was about to have more than yesterday.

"Hey, uhhh, ma'am? Where are you carrying me?"

She turned a bored look towards me, and nodded in the direction we were headed. Looking the same way, I saw we were going to the tower in which Louise lives.

XXX

A quick flight and landing at the base of the tower later, and I was shakily standing up with a frown directed towards the small girl, who had dismounted from her huge dragon and was walking towards the door.

"Hey, what's the big idea, taking me away from Louise and Siesta like that? That's pretty damn rude of you to do, whatever your name is!"

Well, I didn't know her name. Fuck if I know what I'm supposed to call her.

She turned to look at me as she was about to open the door.

"Tabitha."

She said it so softly, I almost didn't hear it. I heard it though, and I knew something insane was about to happen, just like when had spoken last time.

Tabitha then opened the door, allowing the flaming lizard to tackle me to the floor and begin the long process of dragging me up the stairs of the tower.

That's it. Two times is enough for me. She won't be talking anymore.

"Hey hey! What are you doing? Where are you taking me!?"

_That's a Salamander. The things are only summoned by people with a very strong fire affinity. Stay on your guard, Shinoda._

Ok, that was good to know. Thank you, Brimir.

After several jostling minutes of being hoisted up flights of stairs, the Salamander of ultimate doom and uncaring plopped me at the front of a door, the same door that I had noticed Louise glaring at last night.

Oh dear.

The door opened seemingly of its own accord, and I was pushed in against my will by the Salamander. It then closed the door after it entered itself.

The room was much more gaudily decorated than Louise's own modest room, with a couple of paintings on one side and a vanity and dresser covered in all assortment of things that only a girl could love.

Speaking of that girl…

That same redhead from the duel with Guiche, the one with the impossible genetics, was sauntering towards me, a smirk on her face. She was dressed in a very thin negligee, and the article of clothing barely managed to hold her decency in.

Not that she wanted it in. Her intent was quite obvious even for someone as insane as me, someone not really concerned with something so material as sex.

She wanted me.

NOPE.

Leaping to my feet and assuming the "No" position, like yesterday, I backed away cautiously, my mind in a frenzy of activity as I tried to see a way out of this mess.

"So you're Shinoda. My, you look so handsome, panicked and all."

The voice was liquid silk, and a shiver crawled up my spine. Dear gods above, the redhead was going to attack soon. She was like a siren.

_Shinoda, why do I see an image of you and this girl having se-_

DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT BRIMR, OR I WILL SUMMON THE HORDE.

_Noted. Going to go try out these cooking machines, this miso soup of yours sounds fascinating._

GEE, THANKS FOR HELPING.

_You're welcome._

Karma was a thing after all. I was on my own here.

The Salmander moved to the window near the other side of the room, its work done. The redhead, meanwhile was licking her lips in a very seductive manner, looking at me not unlike how a tiger looks at her prey. Her speech was smooth as satin and erotically soft as velvet.

"My name is Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst. My Runic name is Kirche the Ardent, and my familiar is Flame, whose species can only be summoned by a passionate person such as myself."

She gave me a look that would have most men liquefied into a puddle from the lust. "Allow me to show you that passion."

Ok. Ok. Calm down.

"Look, you do realize that if you force yourself on me, that's rape, right?"

She paused.

She looked at me.

And she laughed.

"Oh silly Shinoda! Why, how could it possibly be rape if you want it as much as I do?"

She was very sharp.

I'm fucked.

Literally.

Wait, this was the same girl who bullied Louise.

A scowl formed on my face at the memory, and my hands closed into fists.

"If there's one thing I hate, I hate bullies, Kirche. Tell me, why do you bully Louise? Do you know how much pain she's in?"

She blinked in surprise at my scowl and my questions, then chuckled. "Shinoda, you don't seem to understand. You see, my family, the Zerbst, has stolen many a family member from the Valliere, her family. I am simply doing what my ancestors, since the founding of the family, did. I will steal that of which she has begun to treasure, like those before." Her tone of voice something along the lines of haughty, even more so than Louise toting her status as a noble.

This woman was really sharp. She was able to see, by observation only, that Louise had begun to like me as a friend so soon after summoning me, even if she showed it in a tsundere-like way. Kirche was intent on having sex with me so hard, I would completely forget about Louise, even being a familiar and all.

She also sounded like she was joking about it. Like, she meant the whole fiasco as a joke. Her tone of voice was misleading. Something was up. Why in the name of the gods was she bringing up something so ancient?

What the fuck?

Before I could voice my concerns however, a knock was heard on the window frame.

"Miss Kirche, I'm here for our lovey-dovey time!"

My eye twitched at the sight before me.

Probably using magic of some kind to float, some horny guy was sticking his head through the open window, an eager look on his face.

"Flame?"

The resulting flamethrower launched him flying away from the window, crying in pain and rejection. Oh well, too bad for him.

Or was he lucky?

Anyways, Kirche turned back to me, and I allowed myself to blow up a bit.

"Kirche. What are you trying to do? I'm getting mixed signals from you here. Half of me thinks you're in this for the sex, half of me thinks you're doing this to spite Louise. But, you also sound like as if you're joking. Explain yourself, if you would. I don't think I'm catching on here."

The story just didn't make sense. Why bother enabling such a 'grudge' after what sounded like such a long time? It sounded like a waste of time, especially when Kirche seemed like the kind of person who set her mind to a goal.

She blinked again and looked a bit morose. I stepped up to her, barely within her arm's reach, giving her a nod of encouragement. There was quite obviously something in the shadows here, and I really needed to listen to the other side of the story to help.

Whatever it takes to help people, I'll do. That is what Kaisers do, after all.

I was too selfless, even with my insanity in full tilt.

Before she could answer my question though…

"SHINODA!"

Oh no.

Louise and Siesta had unleashed righteous feminine fury upon Kirche's door, and while they were glaring at Kirche, they were also glaring at me.

I could understand why, too. I was within arm's reach after all. Considering how Kirche is, I can understand why-

FLYING JUMP-

Too late. The kick had already impacted my face, and I was sent careening across the room, the image of her underpants engraved, in stone, into my mind.

Brimir?

_Sure._

An explosion echoed in my mind, along with the clattering of rubble upon a metal wall.

Thanks, Brimir.

_You're welcome._

Good guy Brimir. That almost made up for abandoning me earlier.

Almost.

The noble and maid, meanwhile, were currently in the process of towing me back across the room, to save me from the evil and horny clutches of the Ardent. Thank the gods for small favors.

"We'll talk about that later!" With that last sentence called out, the door was closed in my face, and the two girls were glaring at me with a very scary intensity.

Ideas, Brimir?

_None here. Good luck._

Bad guy Brimir.

I'll spare you the details of the ensuing chaos, but suffice it to say that Siesta had channeled energy I can only relate to corona energy, and Louise channeled energy that was most definitely void.

I'm surprised the armor actually held up.

XXX

"Louise, as much as I like strangers, why did you have to bring me along?"

Mounted up on her horse, she looked down upon me, temporarily the spitting image of a stuck-up noble. "Why, Shinoda? Did you not say yourself yesterday that you would protect me, as you were summoned to do?"

I sighed dejectedly. "Yes, I suppose so, Louise."

Turning my temporary ire on the sixth thief trying to steal Louise's coin purse, I punched him in the gut with an armored fist, making the poor bastard double over, cough blood, and retreat away from the seemingly unstoppable juggernaut all thieves would soon know me as.

You'd think the thieves would learn after number three fell, honestly.

After the massive jolt of power and destruction from the two girls had passed, we had retired for the night. The next day, Louise awoke before me, in what I'm sure what would become the norm, and demanded I get ready for a day out in town. Not that I needed to be any-more ready. I'd been sleeping in my armor for the last two nights, and I wasn't comfortable enough in this world yet to do anything else, smell be damned.

… I want to shower.

Anyways, with Louise ignoring all of the stores and heading in a very specific direction, I could only assume she wanted to buy something for someone? For herself? Katie, as a forgiving gift over Guiche's betrayal? For me, as a gift for beating Guiche?

"Turn here, Shinoda, our destination is to our right, down that alley. Stay alert, please."

Turning down into the rather disgusting alley, I saw our destination ahead. While I could not read the written language on the sign ahead of us, there was a hammer drawn onto the sign. That's it. Just a hammer.

I feel like I was expecting more from what looked like a blacksmithing shop.

After tying up our horse to the pole nearby with a nigh-impossible knot, we entered the shop. It looked humble enough, with swords of varying quality mounted on the walls. Battleaxes and hammers adorned the corners along with the cheaper looking swords, and a man was standing at the front counter, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Hello, my most welcome customers! What would this young and beautiful noble girl be looking to buy today?"

Keep an eye on the shopkeeper, he looked very sketchy.

"I am looking for a sword of acceptable quality for my familiar here. He should know what kind of a sword to get for himself."

The shopkeeper's smile widened. "All right then, miss, let me get you the best sword I got in this shop!"

He returned from that journey a minute later, a golden/bronze sword in his hands.

"This beauty was made in Germania, and had been reinforced with all manners of runes and magic to let carve through stone like a hot knife through butter!"

Passing the sword to me, I tested it in my hands, getting a feel for it, or at least making a show of it. Weighted heavier at the tip for more striking power and holding no guard, it wasn't well suited for the two-handed style I had developed for my K908.

That, and it was made of gold.

I flicked the tip of the blade that would not have broken steel or iron, and the tip of the golden blade snapped off.

I heard a gasp, and the shopkeeper looked rather scared while Louise looked shocked at my blatant vandalism of a store's goods.

"Trying to sell us a cheap sword, you little…"

Then there was the rusty sword that was laughing.

Wait, what?

"Wahahahaha! Oh man, I can't believe you did that! You wouldn't believe how long it took for him to try to sell it to others, and you didn't even let him name his price without you breaking it!"

Picking up the offending sword, I realized that not only did the thing have a guard and suitably reliable blade, but that the thing was weighted almost exactly like the K908, and was therefore nearly perfect for the two handed style I used.

My gods, this sword.

"How much for a talking sword, sir?"

Jesus, that's a hell of a question.

"What, that piece of junk? Just take the damn thing and go. He's too noisy and he always drives away our customers."

_That is my familiar's old sword. Derflinger is his name._

"Hi, new partner! My name is Derflinger!"

Oh.

_Take him. He will serve you well._

"Hey partner, wanna hear a dirty joke?"

I smiled a demented smile that should have split my face wide open. Today had just become so much better, even as Louise twitched in shock at the rapid development in buying a sword. Poor girl.

Brimir, what kind of person was your familiar?

_Which one? Sasha? Faith? Annette? Anthea?_

Four women, really?

_Hey I'll have you know I was a pretty badass guy in my time!_

Who wielded 'ol Derfy here, and was she a pervert?

_That would have been Sasha and no, now she was the biggest, most uptight prude you'd ever meet. Faith was kinda in the middle, Phoebe and Anthea, well…_

?

_Don't get me wrong, they were great girls and companions, but…_

_?_

_They kinda scared me. There was that one time that was forever seared into my memory when they dragged me into the forest and pulled out some-_

Nope! Noote! Nope!

_Wait! You can make brain bleach right? Make me some, PLEASE!_

_**Clunk!**_

_Thank You! __**Splash!**_

And goodnight.

\XXX/

_Addressing one particular review:_

_For fucks sake man, he can only do that stuff in his MIND. Not in the real world. Please keep that in mind._

_Nothing else here. Thanks for the support, and I'll see you guys later._

_Bio out._

_P.S.:_

_The "noote" typo is meant to be there. Do not worry._

_**S-111 here, Bio's an old friend so I'm helping out with editing and idea sounding. Also I've been adding my own brand of insanity to the mix. The bear-men idea actually came from an angrish rant that started about cookies. **_

_**You all can also thank me for the rate at which this chapter came out, if I hadn't been bugging him every day after classes then you may have not seen this chapter for another week and maybe half this length too.**_

_Bio here again, for the last AN segment. I will admit that 'ol Spar's a bit on the crazy side, and we had to cut over half of his ideas because they got a bit too…off. There was brain bleach spread around like water after one conversation and many nopes to be had._

_Anyway I'll get to the next chapter soon._

_Bio out. _


	3. Two-Sword Style is Weird

_Bio here._

_I'm on a roll, and The Solar Union may or may not be put on hold until I feel tired of making Shinoda suffer._

_I appreciate your praises about the story so far. It does mean a lot. Go check out S-111, by the way, he's got a great story up and it's only gonna grow. Nothing else to mention, so let the insanity continue._

_Also, for those that somehow didn't see it:_

_**Warning: some parts in this chapter may or may not be disturbing for some readers. Discretion advised.**_

_This story of mine will still remain true to its humorous roots, but things _will _get serious, as they do here._

_Just a warning._

_Also, I'd recommend listening to basically any of the Castle in the Darkness soundtracks, as they all fit nearly all the time during fight scenes and such. Do I do a good job with the fight scenes, by the way? Please, let me know._

_Ok, no more stalling, on with the show._

/XXX\

"Eat as much as you'd like, young Kaiser! By all means, please help yourself!"

I could only nod in reply, as my face was currently stuffed with the hot-as-hell stew the large man next to me had made.

It was already past lunchtime, and I was starving. After receiving Derflinger, who was set on my hip for the moment, from the idiotic shopkeeper, Louise and myself had returned to the academy, its classes closed for the day.

I had bonded quickly to the sentient magical sword on our way back, much to Louise's constant and ever-growing ire. We were exchanging stories like guy-friends at a bar over drinks in minutes. The guy was just so likeable, no matter how unfathomable his age was (about several thousand years, according to the rune).

When we had returned, Siesta had been waiting for us, and she'd quickly taken my hand and had pulled me to the academy kitchen, stating that I needed nourishment after such an early start to the day. I couldn't disagree simply because my stomach agreed with her, no matter how suspicious her blush was.

The cook, a rather large, nearly heavy-set man, immediately decided what would fit as a suitable late lunch for the 'Avenging Kaiser', as he had called me. Now though, he was content with calling me Kaiser, if only for the sake of me getting just a bit upset at that title, which had in turn upset him.

I had to admit though, no matter how odd the man was, his stew was divine. That wasn't even the hunger talking either, I could easily taste the smoky beef and the sweet vegetables mixed together along with the perfect blend of spices to give it a small yet perfect kick. Jesus, this was good food.

Siesta was next to me as well, seated and eating along with me, though at a much slower and subdued pace than myself. Even as I was chewing away at some of the beef and carrots, she slipped a piece of bread my way for the soup. With a grateful nod, I continued devouring the stew.

Brimir was of the opinion that I should start dropping tips for Louise concerning her magic. All of the spells she casted exploded, which meant there was a control issue. As I learned from Brimir, all nobles had 'willpower', which was basically their own version of the telekinetic energy I used to fuel the **Thumper**, **Bulking**, and **Focusing**. Once they ran out of that source of energy, well, that was it. There were methods to draw willpower in some other way from the outside world, but Brimir discouraged that practice due to it being extremely dangerous and nearly pointless. He wouldn't say what it was though, and that scared me. If Brimir of all people discouraged the use of a certain magical practice, maybe the other magic users should follow that example.

Anyways, it was possible Louise did not have proper control over the amount of willpower she put into her magic, or if she did, then she did not know the true amount that she was putting towards her spells, which would explain everything blowing up, a manifestation of her affinity with the void.

It made sense. I mean, what happens if you overfill a homemade bomb with black powder, especially if you don't know how strong that particular mix is? It exploded with more force than it would have otherwise. It was a simple concept to understand.

"My goodness, young Kaiser! You finished that dish in record time!"

Indeed I had. The food had been that good, and I had been that hungry.

I stood from my seat.

"If it doesn't trouble you sir, I may be coming in later for dinner."

The man grinned and waved a hand. "Oh no, by all means! I'm completely willing to serve a hero of the people!"

I grinned back. "_Arigato_."

With a final wave and a somewhat awkward bear hug from the man, Siesta and I departed from the kitchen, both of us heading our separate ways, her to her chores and myself to my volatile master's room.

XXX

Arriving at the base of the tower when I did allowed me to witness the arrival of both Kirche and Tabitha on Tabitha's familiar. The dragon gave me a nuzzle of recognition, and I scratched it in return (I still was not sure of the dragon's gender). Kirche had something wrapped in her hands, and Tabitha had a slightly disgruntled look about her. Whatever had happened had more than likely annoyed her to some degree, as her eyes were not actively reading the book in her hand. Rather, she was just staring at the book, pretending to read, and was just about burying her face into it at the sight of me, but I could still see a slight twitch in her eyebrow.

Oh come on, what now?

That mentally asked question was quickly answered without my allowing it by Kirche, who walked up to me. "Hello, Shinoda. I don't suppose you've reconsidered your thoughts on my passion for you?"

Nopenopenopenopenope.

"Sorry, but no. You seem to have plenty of male attention anyways," I responded in kind. Perhaps a bit too harsh, but anything to keep the impossible redhead before me from attempting intercourse on the spot. After all, public fornication is illegal in all rational forms of government.

"Oh, you wound me, Shinoda. Surely this gift would change your mind?" She offered the wrapped bundle to me.

Ok, bribery? What were this world's standards anyways?

Fuck it. No Brimir, not literally. She's not even an 'it'.

_Heeheehee, those glorious bronze melons though._

Mothra be damned pervert.

Unwrapping the gift shocked me, as it did Derflinger.

"Hey, what gives! You think that piece of junk is better than me, lady!?"

It was the golden sword from the shopkeeper's weapon shop, complete with the small chip at the edge flicked off by myself. She probably haggled and showed off a bit of leg to woo the shopkeeper and cheap the bastard out. If this was an anime, then maybe she had committed murder by assisted excessive nasal hemorrhaging.

I could respect that. After all, after threatening the shopkeeper with the K908 and all its superior qualities, Louise and I had left with her purse heavier than when we had walked in.

Didn't even have to pay for the cleaning supplies for Derflinger either.

Tabitha's eyes peeked over the lip of the book when she spoke up at my shell-shocked stare at the item in my hands.

"Not my idea," she whispered, burying her face farther into her book in embarrassment over the promiscuous actions of her friend.

That much was obvious, little Tabitha.

A terrifying screech of pure feminine rage prompted me to glance up where Louise was sticking her head out a window, looking down at _me_ with a hateful glare.

"SHINODA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SPEAKING WITH THAT HAG!?"

Her head quickly withdrew, and I swear I could hear her descent of the tower, consisting of curses to me and The Ardent, loud banging noises, and stomping. Lots of stomping. Looking back on it later, I was actually surprised at the complexity of the insults. However, at the time the situation was still a little surreal to me so I could not properly catalog them for future use. Little did I know that situations like this would rapidly become so common that any lesser being would be driven insane. Thankfully I had already crossed that line long ago so it eventually just became a part of the daily grind.

In record time, she was before us, her stick of destiny already drawn, her targeting systems confused between myself and Kirche. She obviously didn't know who to explode first. Perhaps if I interrupted her-

Nope.

"Louise, you honestly didn't think a rusty old sword like that could sway his heart to you, did you? Goodness, I didn't realize how poor the Valliere family had become!"

Goddamnit Kirche! Brimir, I need backup immediately!

_Uhhhh, sorry, I have a…er… a prior engagement! Yes yes, the bear-men want to talk about increasing the border security, the ones in the pit need feeding, and those swears need organzing!_

Brimir, they don't talk, eat, and I already have enough in my repertoire!

_Err, bye!_

Brimir, why!

The situation has quickly soured for myself, the poor Kaiser I am. Now what am I to do?

"Shinoda! Whose sword do you prefer!"

Oh fuck no. She did not just ask that. It was the loaded question of all loaded questions and the ghost of my ex- was laughing at me.

But Louise did. All the girls present were now staring at me expectantly, even Tabitha. What did she have to do with any of this! She wasn't that kind of a person, there was no way! Granted, I didn't know her that well, but she had to be the most calm, collected, and best person to have tea with here...right?

From the depths of my mind an image surfaced of a chibi version of Godzilla himself holding up a picket sign with the words, _"Beware the quiet ones...its always the quiet ones."_

_Or it could be nothing..._

The few seconds allotted to answer were not enough. "Hmph. Well, if he cannot decide, we must think of a way to decide for him!" Louise declared.

This was the most active I'd ever seen her up to this point. When the girl set her mind to something, she really went at it, didn't she?

Even with the situation as FUBAR as it could get, I smiled a thin smile. The girl who summoned me would find herself right at home with the men and women of the JSDF. We respected determination there, you bet we did. We had to, seeing as how military lives were extinguished in swaths. It took guts to fight kaijus in conventional war machines like missile trucks or even Maser tanks.

Even as I pulled up into the air as if by an invisible string, I could not help but feel that Louise really did remind me of the men and women back home.

That thought made me think that maybe the Stockholm syndrome was already setting in. I hadn't even tried to get home yet, I had no idea how I could go about doing so. I was aware of the circumstances under which Louise summoned me, so did that mean it would require another yearly ritual to send me back? Did she have enough willpower to send me back?

Was it possible that I could never go back home again?

…

I miss Japan. Kaiju and all.

…

XXX

{Meanwhile, in Shinoda's mind}

The lights of the mindscape had suddenly shut off, and bad guy Brimir was looking at the oddest thing.

Shinoda was hanging upside down from the branch of a tree, pawing at a squirrel running to and fro around and on the tree. To the left of what Brimir could see inside his encampment/home, what Shinoda's mind called a hamster wheel was currently the resting place of a huge, fluffy, and cute hamster. The thing was currently on its back and twitching, its eyes white and a light froth seeping from the corner of its mouth.

Just what was going on?

Quickly realizing the problem, Brimir prepped his staff to launch a minor void spell at the hamster, to restart Shinoda's mind and make the Kaiser realize the terrible situation he was caught in.

But as Brimir pointed his staff at the hamster, he had no time to start an incantation because the hamster awoke on its own.

Eyes glowing an ominous red, the fluffball underwent a terrifying transformation. Fur shedding off, muscles bulging so much they threatened to tear off the skin, claws sharpening to being worthy of Gigan. The now uber-buff naked-mole-rat-creature-thing rose up onto its haunches, and it took one threatening step towards the representation of the original void mage. Froth practically poured from its mouth even while closed, and like a bear, its fat undulated and rolled around at any movement the creature made.

Turning around, Brimir also saw one bear-man pointing a chair at him, keeping the rune away from the hiding spots of the other two bear-men. One kept him away while the second hid in the pantry and the third beneath the sink. One could hear the sounds of multiple locks being set, even over the very loud growling of the creature that had advanced on Brimir, which was now right next to him.

A loud screech was heard, followed by a girly scream of fear, and the sound of tearing clothes and mauling was heard throughout the mindscape.

While this was happening, the squirrel that had been harassing Shinoda was now eating acorn after acorn, filling its mouth to comical proportions. The Kaiser himself was now eating his comfort food, dango, at a pace so rapid, he would be setting many records in his home world. The meatbuns were so spicy he was crying from the heat, his efforts to deny what was happening in the real world, as well as trying to stay caught in the reminiscence of his old world by extent, actually paying off.

The bear-man who had so bravely stayed outside watched as the beast finished mauling Brimir. The bear-man went to the drawer and pulled out a large syringe, labelled _In case of Rabid Thoughts_. It then walked up to Brimir, whose eyes had whited out, and injected the full load into Brimir's…well…

Another scream of pain.

Meanwhile, its bloodlust satiated, the creature returned to its hamster wheel, and it morphed back into its cute hamster form, complete with blue eyes, fluffy fur, and a cute face. A neon sign appeared, and a countdown was made on its bright green bulbs.

3…

2…

1…

_Ding!_

The hamster began running again, and Shinoda, the tree, and the squirrel phased out of the mindscape, with the solitary bear-man, empty syringe in hand, saluted Shinoda, a gesture of good luck for him to escape his most terrible situation.

XXX

{Back with Shinoda}

…

Wait, why am I up in the air?

Shaking myself out my thoughts, I realized that I was tied in rope and was suspended up in the air. Tabitha's staff was raised slightly off the ground, and her eyes were still on the book. I could barely see the tugging of muscles on the corners of her lips, telltale signs of her fighting back what would no doubt be her version of a shit-eating grin.

The Chibi-G from the depths of my mind returned, this time rocking back and forth and holding a sign reading, '_I told you so. XD'_

Son of a bitch. Brimir kill that fucker!

_Whazzahapen?...Kill who?_

Dammit!

"PUT ME DOWN TABITHA!"

Both Kirche and Louise had their sticks drawn at this point, and Kirche was aiming at me. Tabitha simply shook her head and watched the oncoming spectacle with her ever silent expression as she set me to sway from side to side..

Turns out that while I had been lost in my thoughts about home, the girls decided that Tabitha would string me up by rope and wind magic and leave me to dangle, turning me into a target so that the others would compete to see who could cut the rope with a spell first. Whoever won got to see me use the sword I was given by the winner. Goddamnit, where were the adults when you needed them?

"HEY, LET ME GO!"

Louise responded.

"**Fireball!**"

Something whistled past my ear, and the wall behind us exploded. She missed and nearly took my head off doing it.

With a curse, she backed away and allowed Kirche her turn. The stream of flame washed over me, scorching the ropes and heating the air, making my armor groan a little under the intense flame. Thankfully, she didn't aim for my head.

The wind magic keeping me up was cut off by Tabitha, and I fell a good several meters to the ground, landing the exact opposite of a cat. Coughing and groaning in pain, I looked up with a scowl at the offending wind mage, and she coughed a bit and leaned into her book again.

"Look, girls. Next time, if some event unfolds that quickly, don't give me a second to respond only to tie me up and blast me with magic. Really now, that was just rude. I'm not going to pick favorites. Kirche, you know I know that sword is honestly useless. Louise, stop being so angry all the time and learn how to relax better. Tabitha… don't help them with their schemes."

The girls had the decency to look embarrassed at their actions, at least.

"Shinoda, does this mean you'll have to punish us?" Nevermind. The tone in that voice made it very obvious just what kind of punishment she wanted.

Goddamnit, Kirche.

That line activated Louise's tsundere protocols, first blushing profusely at the insinuation, then erupting like a volcano, whipping around towards Kirche and myself.

Why was she also aiming at me?

"So you think you can just do that to us, Shinoda? WELL!?"

You gotta be freaking kidding me.

This is Brimir's fault. It has to be, somehow.

No time for an answer.

"**FIREBALL!**"

Fuck, no!

XXX

The next day, after licking my battle wounds, saw me walking to the kitchen for another dose of the cook's glorious lunch. With Louise's classes going semi-swimmingly and my own knowledge of this world growing by the day thanks to the rune, we both were making progress. Hell, she'd even called me by my actual name before I had left to get my lunch, which was a step above calling me familiar or dog in public. With Derflinger as my company, we decided to go and train after lunch, Louise's blessing or not. She'd be ok anyways.

I hadn't seen Siesta all day today though. Maybe she had a day off? Was that even a thing in such a relatively backwards society?

Upon my arrival in the kitchen, and after a huge serving of what I called the roast beast, I asked the cook where she had been.

"Oh, you mean you didn't know? Siesta has left the academy. She's gone to work for a count who lives nearby to receive more pay."

That was odd. Why didn't she tell me? She didn't even give off a hint of her wanting to leave or her telling she was going to leave.

Was that last dinner truly her last dinner in the academy?

"The count, however, is rather questionable."

I blinked.

"Peasants who've worked there have been talking of illicit affairs behind the doors of the count's estate. Maids who are taken by him are never seen again."

A scowl twisted my features.

"However, those of us who knew them fear the worst."

My shaky hand clasped over the K908 handle, shaking in barely contained rage.

"I hope she'll be ok." The cook sounded genuinely worried.

Hell.

Fucking.

NO.

NOT AGAIN.

"Where?" My voice was merely a whisper, but any half-wise man could hear the absolute rage in my voice. Hell, even Derflinger was shaking in his scabbard, but whether he was also enraged or he simply felt my anger and was reacting accordingly, I didn't know.

After receiving the instructions on how to get to the Count's home, whose name was Mott, I was speeding out of the academy, my hand on the hilt of Derflinger to grant me the rune's boost.

Brimir.

_Yes, Shinoda?_

How should I go about killing this sick son of a bitch?

_I'd recommend a rather extreme form of castration, Sasha always did threaten to do that to me, at least before she killed me._

That sentence nearly made me stop.

Wait, what the fuck? Brimir, did you just say she KILLED you?

_I never told you? Well, yes, she did. Not my finest moment._

What the fuck did you do to her to warrant her killing you? And how was she able to do it past the rune's control?

_Well I was being a bit of an asshole, the rune wasn't like that back then and furthermore! Shinoda, check where you are._

What do you – oh.

It turns out that I was using my natural speed in conjunction to the rune's power, plus my Kaiser buffs. As a result, I had made it to the estate upon which Count Mott lived in what was probably record time.

No surprise there. I always had a tendency to push myself to the limit when I let my emotions get the better of me in a potential combat situation.

There was a metal fence, spiked at the top for both visual effect and as a deterrent to thieves of all kinds. The actual estate really made it look like as if he valued material wealth over other things, with lavish-looking comforts stationed around the grounds, like the large patio, the tent, table, and chairs, and so on. Several guards were patrolling in the grounds, and two more were stationed at the entrance to the gate.

What quickly caught my eye was the kennel. What looked like some kind of winged dog breed was chewing and tearing into a piece of meat with cloth on it, another of its brethren waiting patiently for its turn at the food. Nearby, two more guards were digging a hole, for what reason I did not know.

Something was obviously wrong with me if I wasn't questioning the existence of winged dogs.

I approached the latter mentioned guards and, after unfolding my helmet, flashed a smile towards the guards. The way they backed away told me that I either needed to check up on my dental hygiene, or they found my smile genuinely frightening.

Not my problem.

"Hello there, sirs. I was wondering if you could allow me into Count Mott's estate. There are certain business matters I need to attend to concerning him and his hobbies."

The left guard, wielding a halberd and armored in what looked like steel chainmail with a leather helmet, scowled at me and shook his head. "Go away, you commoner. Our Lord Mott would have alerted his guards to the possibility of such a business prospect. Go, before we escort you away ourselves." The right guard, wielding a sword and shield and armored the same as his companion, nodded his head and readied his shield, an obvious attempt to try and intimidate me.

Sir, I've faced down living embodiments of the righteous fury of Mother Earth, the most scary of which being able to kill the planet, and a bit more, with his death.

When you travel through hell and come back, nothing much tends to phase you.

Forcing another smile, I pressed on. "Sirs, I assure you that is personal business requiring his, er…" I looked around for effect, then leaned in on Halberd. "His _unique_ services."

What in the name of gods had possessed me to say that? I could hear Brimir laughing his ass off at the absurd notion, and the guards looked shocked and pale.

This is what happened when I do things on my own like this. I need an adult.

…

I AM the adult.

…

Fuck.

Sword-and-Shield spoke up. "M-M-My apologies, good sir. We did not know that you were aware of his…peculiarities. By all means, please come inside, and do enjoy yourself. I'm sure the maids inside will assist both you and Lord Mott concerning your business."

With a grateful nod, I entered the grounds of the Mott estate. It was taking nearly all of my considerable willpower not to break out laughing and risk the guards realizing I tricked them. Good gods, though. Was he really like that?

Shaking my head, I opened the door to the estate after receiving an 'ok' from the guard posted at the door, and my nostrils were flooded with the scent of lavender.

What kind of jerk used _lavender_ of all things to make his house smell pretty?

I dropped into a crouch, quickly unfolding the armor completely after removing Derflinger's sheath, putting it back on after the folding was complete. The metal it was made of would make would only serve to clatter and make noise. It wasn't designed to be stealthy.

The undersuit was though.

Skintight and black as the night sky, it was designed for long-term usage, and had been tested for such with very positive results. I should know, I tested it. What was unique about the suit was that it utilized some newly developed - most of which was stolen - Futurian technology. I think it was something similar to nanomachines, but the basic premise was that the suit could repair itself over time. It did so at such a slow pace, it may as well have not mattered. The suit still had Kevlar in it though, and that was a godsend against the Japanese Mafia. Hell, the suit was designed for stealth and yet it worked so well with the CMS. It was way beyond odd that the government had the CMS work so well with the undersuit.

I could only thank the gods I had worn this over regular clothes when I was abducted from my home dimension/world/whatever. I would have been regretting it otherwise.

Putting my thoughts aside, I began to sneak my way to the double doors that probably led…somewhere. From here on out, I considered myself to be in enemy territory, even with the guards' permission to enter. What was shitty was that I didn't know where the hell I was. Hell if I knew how an estate like this was mapped out. Maybe I should've asked the guards for directions to Mott's room or something.

The double doors creaked open to reveal the sight of a gaudy staircase, one of those really fancily designed ones that were symmetrical and led to other rooms up top. Somehow, no guards were stationed at those doors. Maybe he had them eating lunch or some other such thing. I wasn't about to complain.

As I crept up the steps on the left, I contemplated my current situation. I was seeking to assassinate a lord of unknown power, politically and literally, to force him to release custody of a maid I could call a friend, all of this in a completely different dimension or world of some kind where magic was an actual thing, and where Mothra's power would probably be increased about a hundred-fold due to the sheer amount of saturation of the stuff in the air, where it was sometimes so thick _I _could feel it.

…

Does this come with the job?

Reaching the top, I saw yet another pair of double doors. If there was anywhere Count Mott would claim as his bedroom, it may just be there. Creeping up next to the doors confirmed my suspicions, as voices spoke up from the other side of the doors.

"Hey, when is Count Mott supposed to come to bed? It is…odd to be guarding his room, even just guarding it like this."

"Remember, he was going to the bath after coming back from checking up on his experiments. I think he was going to spruce up some of his special wine for that maid that he just brought in. Also, he can't afford to have them die on us anytime soon, you know? Besides, Reconquista would _not _be happy if that final experiment were to fail."

"That is true. As long as he does not take too long."

Reconquista? Who were they? And more importantly, where the hell was the entrance to the basement? Experiments did _not _sound fun.

I grit my teeth in anger. My mind flashed back to when the head cook told me that Mott had occasionally bought the contracts of maids whenever he visited the academy. Considering that the academy staff could not contact them even after repeated attempts…it didn't paint a pretty picture at all. It was possible that Mott was testing on human subjects, probably the maids he hired, and they very thought angered me to the core.

The thought of Siesta, tied to a bed or something out of a Frankenstein flick as she was injected with some kind of a potent serum, no matter how ridiculous it was…

It pissed me off. My blood began to boil and the edges of my vision darkened. I could hear an almost inaudible growling at the edge of my mind.

Standing up, I fired a savage kick to the double doors, and the poor guards on the other side were knocked away by the flinging doors, extensions of my rage. They were out cold before they hit the ground.

Storming inside, I took in the sight of the bastard's bedroom. With a huge painting of himself above his huge-sized bed, and the lavish decorations the room boasted, it was obvious he was both vain and prone to spending. It reminded me of some of the bigger crackdowns I had helped in when going against the Japanese Mafia. Those guys _always _had a lavishly decorated room. It was like a prerequisite of any and all bad guys, it seemed.

That was when two things caught my attention. A door with a multitude of locks set on it, and a letter on a nightstand next to the bed.

Letter or door?

_Letter._

Nodding, I walked over to the letter and read it, reading it as I searched around Mott's bedroom.

_We hope you have been keeping busy on the experiments you're working on. No one would be happy if you happened to be slacking off on doing your work._

_Remember that the deadline is drawing near, and that your experiments are needed to help ensure our goals will have been met. You will need to find a way to recruit The Crumbling Dirt to our cause as well. I believe the Viscount shall be able to assist with that endeavor. He will know the proper blackmail._

_Also, kill the Courier. He is no longer needed, as I am sure the previous letter stated._

_Respond with a list of your progress when possible, and ensure this letter is destroyed in proper time._

_~R_

That literally only served to make more questions, and it answered none but one:

That bastard Mott was doing these experiments for some kind of group or society.

…

Not good.

Finding a bag that wouldn't look out of place on a courier – probably belonging to the poor Courier who was captured and held here – I stored the letter inside, along with whatever else I believed would make good evidence latter. Tomes, crumpled papers full of equations, sticks of destiny that looked like they were laced in gold, nothing was safe from the bag.

I halted when my search was nearly completed. There was a draft of a letter sitting on the windowsill.

Eyes narrowing, I picked it up and read it.

_The reactions produced by the subjects have been varied and inefficient. There have been few successful combinations with the majority of tests ending in dismal failures. If only I had better stock to choose from could my research advance and possibly produce the sought results._

_The Green Crystals provided by contractor have proven to be the most stable though not without its own limitation. They react best with adolescent whelps from the age of 15 and below. The rate of success does not appear to be determined by whether or not the subjects are of noble or common birth. _

_It creates a readily durable subject that can be trained similarly to a dog. The first two dozen animals have already been shipped to Reconquista for training. _

_Unfortunately, it seems that the green crystals are not compatible with females at all. I have tried many subjects and results are constant __**messy **__failures._

_The Red Crystals are quite temperamental and through my research I have spent much time gathering disgraced female nobles of the fire affinity, although those of earth can provide adequate substitutes. However it should be noted that attempting to combine the crystal with those of water affinity will result in progressive failures. However, ashes are much more easily cleared away._

_They are quite durable and resistant to fire magic, to a much greater extent than those subjects of the Green crystals. Wind attacks are also nigh useless below those of triangle class, and even those require many concentrated strikes in a small location._

_The subjects are slow due to their larger frames, and are able to burrow. However, their weight makes them unable to swim, and their limited range of movement makes combat against highly agile opponents untenable. Due to their weight, only 3 have been delivered._

_Black Crystal reacts well with no one. Suitable subjects must be found. May try subjects 13 or younger in future._

He _was _testing on humans. Young people, by the looks of it, and the bastard was thinking of using actual children.

Stuffing the note in the now full bag and dropping the bag out the window into a bush, I tried to hold in my anger, I really did.

The edges of my vision grew darker, and I knew there was someone behind me. Turning around showed me that one of the guards had woken up. He was currently pissing himself at the dark…something behind me. The air had grown choking, and the temperature had dropped several degrees. I could feel…something. The closest thing I could describe it with is a miasma of terror.

With a grunt, I directed my ire towards him, and the poor bastard dropped, out cold, fainted from fear.

Now _that_ was interesting.

After making sure Brimir recorded the memory for later study, I walked over to the locked door. Several padlocks blocked access to the handle and inner lock, and several magical runes were carved into the door. It was obviously meant to restrict access to only Mott.

There had to be a key nearby.

And there was, inside the nightstand. A bit obvious, but then again, he probably wasn't expecting guests to this magnitude. The key itself had a rune carved into it, and when inserted into the first padlock, it released a burst of energy that disabled the runes on the door. After unlocking the rest, the door swung open to reveal an open trapdoor and a ladder leading into the depths.

After trying up the guards in the bedsheets from the huge bed, I climbed down.

XXX

Jesus Christ.

The basement consisted of two areas. The first area was a workshop of sorts, with a multitude of ingredients for alchemy and metallurgy. The second area…

Multiple cells looking like they were plucked straight out of a jail lined the corridor, three on each side. Each cell looked barely large enough for one person.

The first cell on the left showed me a horror I will never forget.

A crumpled person, a girl no older than 16, moaning quietly in pain as she was induced to what was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen.

Bleeding from multiple places from lacerations, as well as from her mouth and eyes, wasn't the worst of it. Seeing a bit of white skull past her shaved and beaten head wasn't the worst.

The worst were the ribs.

A convulsion of some kind would rack her dying body, and in a feat of both disgusting and horrifying biology gone wrong, the left side of her rib cage would tear through the side of her body, completely shredding the flesh. A healing factor of some kind would then kick in, and the ribs would return to their natural state, and the flesh would knit back together.

Only for the ribs to tear themselves out again at another convulsion.

Grimacing, I looked down at the K908 handle holstered to my side. It would be a simple matter to kill the girl, it would be a mercy to deliver her from her suffering. And I knew Derflinger did _not _want to be used in such a mercy killing, if only because it was a young girl suffering.

For a brief moment, Louise was in place of the unlucky girl dying before my eyes. Then Kirche, then Tabitha, then Siesta, then Katie.

Frowning, I sat next to the dying girl, and I cradled her in my arms. If not for the terrible ailment she was subjected to we'd probably look like lovers, relaxing against each other.

I felt myself tearing up as she bled out, her ribs _still_ doing that thing. Why did this shit always happen to the innocent?

The girl, however, clearly wasn't blinded to the small world her life had become despite the pain. Her head craned up, and she looked me with eyes that begged for a release from the pain she was enduring. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy; she'd probably cried her heart out a while ago.

Then she smiled.

A small, yet sincere smile graced her features. It was radiant even in the face of the endless torture, and I could only nod back to her. I was afraid I'd let my tears fall myself if I had smiled back, and I was trying to be the rock in her ever shortening life. Gods knew what she'd endured till now.

I swore then and there: Mott would die, and I would hunt down every single bastard associated with this disgusting society.

She passed quickly enough. She took comfort in my arms, I know that much. Thank the gods she found that last bit of warmth we all search for in our final moments.

Leaving her where she lay, I stood up again and walked to the other cells. Only the last one yielded results, though the other cells had shards of bone and drops of blood everywhere.

A man was laying down in a cot at the back of the cell. He was dressed as if he was forced to travel a lot: many pockets, cloth, a hat that would not too out of place in those Western spaghetti flicks. In his gloved hands was a piece of paper that he was studying with a certain intensity, as if trying to burn whatever was on it into his mind.

This was the Courier.

With a quick slice from the K908, I cut the bars down as if they weren't even there, the bars clattering to the floor. The noise startled the Courier into the waking world. He was looking at me with not so much shock as curiosity.

If anyone had a chance in hell of telling me what the fuck this group's goals were, this Courier would help.

Nodding towards the man, I initiated contact. Can't afford to be lost in my thoughts like usual. This was serious.

"I believe there are several things you could tell me about the organization you work for." There was no point trying to sugarcoat my goal at the moment. This was on the scale of multiple human lives at risk, and that was bound to be bad. The letters had said as much.

The man grimaced at my direct statement. He probably thought he'd gotten lucky to where he could run and leave behind his group. Not today, buddy, not till I'm done with you.

"If you've managed to get down here, I assume you've found out what has been transpiring here?" I nodded, and his mood soured even more. "The moment I found out about this, I was furious and disgusted, and even more so when 'our glorious leader' demanded I take the letter to Mott. Of course, then I was captured. Hell, I think Mott planned to further his experiments on me."

I nodded again, and he waved me over. "Here, I have no need for this last piece. It'll probably be better used in your hands than mine. Kill her or hide her away, though I recommend killing her, if only to spite the sons of bitches that killed my family."

So that was what he was looking at. A sketch of his family.

Jesus, today was shitty.

He passed me a paper that had been folded away within one of the many pockets of his duster-like uniform, and I froze upon seeing it.

I had seen the woman before. At the academy, usually departing to some town or returning from said town.

Ms. Loungeville. The secretary of the school, and the famed counter to the perverted tendencies to the Headmaster himself.

Narrowing my eyes, I nodded in resolution. I'd hear her out, but I may be forced to kill her anyways. No matter how much it sickened me to ignore a direct promise to…_her_…I knew that the mission might call for it.

I'm sorry, Annaliese. I may have to break my promise.

…

The Courier nodded, unaware of my inner turmoil. "Well, I'll be taking my leave." He walked over the ladder, then turned to me. "And good luck with Reconquista. You'll need it. Any chance I could get your name?"

…

"Shinoda," I responded blankly, a bit late in my response.

With that, the Courier was gone, and I was alone with my thoughts.

_Shinoda._

Yeah?

_You may want to explain yourself._

…

I guess so.

…

Back in my world, we of the JSDF Kaiser Unit had morals. We never killed unless we had to, and even then the death would weigh us down like several two-ton weights. This only applied to humans, of course. We couldn't afford to spare mercy to a species of not-birds very much intended to kill off humanity.

…

You see, while Annaliese and myself were off-duty, we had stumbled across this rather infamous group of killers that were partaking in a ritual to a monster we knew as Grand Ghidorah.

_Have an image?_

An image? I have a memory. This was back during the Mothra operations. Check out the window.

_...Oh my._

_I do believe this creature would have killed Halkeginia in its entirety, elves and all._

Anyways, this particular Ghidorah was known to absorb the life energy of our planet and everything on it like a sponge. These cultists believed they needed to bleed their sacrifice dry and make that person's blood run into the Earth. They believe that with enough blood, the Ghidorah will return.

_Sounds fun and pointless._

Indeed. Annaliese responded first, and she managed to quickly subdue most of the cultists. She was the only Mutant who could manage to move as fast as me, and that was always a feat to watch with respect. I moved too slow, though.

The last cultist pulled a high-caliber pistol, and…and even when I had punched him so hard his neck snapped…

_I think I know what happened._

I continued on, not even noticing Brimir's acknowledgement of that terrible deed.

Annaliese…she was always of the stout opinion that life should never be wasted. I think that if she were able to, she would've only subdued that last bastard and not killed him. It spoke a lot about her character. Her father was a priest, you know. She was very laid back, but always the devout student of faith.

_Shinoda._

…

What?

_I know already that your world is no stranger to death, even from just looking at the images of history books you've read. With creatures like the Grand Ghidorah, it should be obvious that the lifespan of a military person would be greatly reduced compared to the civilian. Why would her view of a person's life be so esqued, to treasure each and every life like that?_

…

Before I had really gotten to know her, several years before, she had been captured. Abducted.

_By?_

The Xillians.

They experimented on her, they showed her the failed results of their previous experiments, they feasted on regular humans. They broke her mind, and her mind reformed itself. She heard snippets of a coming invasion, and she escaped the Mothership, killing several of the sons of bitches who broke her before yoinking one of the drone fighter ships and going back to Earth.

_Gods._

Before the Gyaos had sprung up again, we were preparing for that invasion. But Annaliese was broken. Distorted. She believed with all her heart that human lives could be spared, be saved.

It was noble and foolish, and we both knew it.

She made me promise as she was dying in my arms to never take a life. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. And I swore I wouldn't. I don't know what made me say that, to this day. Grief, panic, desperation, wild hope. To add insult to injury, she'd been abducted again. In the hospital room we'd had her in, she'd been taken again. I could do nothing about it. It nearly broke me.

Hell, I started to subdue Mafia members and only used killing force on non-humans, like Gyaos and such. For years, I held to that promise, never taking a human's life.

And now…I may have to kill again. Due to the sensitive nature of dealing with this group, I may be forced to kill.

Brimir…I don't know what to do.

…

_I personally think this:_

_If you are faced with a group of bandits threatening your newfound friends, would you kill them? I believe you should. Some humans are depraved and disgusting, like this Mott whose experiments we've seen the fruit of._

_Some deserve to die, some don't._

…

I see.

_Keep that in mind, Shinoda. Remember that there may come a time where your only option is to kill, and you will not be able to weasel your way out of it._

Affirmative.

Thanks, Brimir.

_Of course. Anything for the Gandalfr who managed to best me. Crazy bastard._

Good guy Brimir.

I felt much more at ease after telling Brimir my story of intrigue and heartbreak. It was just something that would always weigh me down, I guess.

Well, thats enough of that. Time to go confront Mott.

XXX

Back up in the bedroom, I was quite surprised to see the target of my little solo operation. Siesta was dusting away at the portrait of Count Mott. She looked like she'd been crying earlier, and she was dressed in a maid uniform much more provocative than that at the academy. The skirt was _very_ short, nearly a miniskirt, and the blouse barely managed to contain her…valuable assets. I was beyond relieved at seeing her ok, though, all things considered.

"Siesta!"

She jumped, yelped, and dropped the duster simultaneously before turning to the source of the voice, her face looking like she could not believe what she knew it was.

"Shinoda!?"

She ran toward me and embraced me, not giving a damn about the undersuit or the flecks of blood from the young girl from earlier. It was like the reunion of lovers in a romantic flick. All this scene needed was a cherub, sakura petals, and a shitty soundtrack.

Brimir, can you please fucking stop with your putting that image into my head?

_Heeheeheehee._

Thanks, Brimir.

Bad guy Brimir.

"Oh Shinoda, that terrible man is in the bath right now! He said he wanted to talk to me after he got out, and the look on his face…" She shuddered in a mixture of disgust, fear, and anger at the implications of such a look on a man's face.

My eyes hardened, and my originally hot temper grew cold. Woe to whoever gets in my way now.

I was in full Kaiser mode. Complete the mission with brutal efficiency, and completely eliminate all traces of the enemy pitted against you.

This man was going to either suffer pain beyond human comprehension or die so quickly, his body won't be able to register it fully right off the bat.

I drew Derflinger, and I gently pushed Siesta away from me, simultaneously making the armor, minus the helmet, fold over my body once again, after removing the sheath and holster. I didn't want her to see me so cold for long, so I had to work quick.

"Go hide somewhere, Siesta. I'm going to eliminate the bastard you're working for, and you'll be able to go home again. I promise."

The sheer amount of will I poured into my words comforted and reassured Siesta. She shakily nodded and planted a kiss on my cheek. I raised an eyebrow her way in form of a question.

"For good luck," she said with a small blush and a sincere smile.

Nodding my thanks, I faced forward as she ran to another part of the estate, just as the smaller double doors in front of me opened. They opened, and the main enemy of today's operation stepped forward.

So that was Count Mott.

He was of average build and height. He didn't eat that much, but he ate enough, at least if you went by the size of his gut. Dressed in well-made and clean robes bearing a sigil of flowers on his left arm, he gave off an imposing air. He also had his own stick of destiny, which he promptly drew and aimed at me.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my estate!"

I flashed a savage grin that never truly reached my eyes. "Someone needs to stop you and your disgusting acts of depravity, you know. I've always wanted to play the children's book hero."

Bodily turning towards him, I readied Derflinger, who shivered at the amount of killing intent I was giving off. He knew he'd be bathed in blood. A part of me wondered just how much he wanted that, and just how much blood he bathed in while being used by Sasha.

_A lot. She once killed about a hundred orcs to defend me while I exploded a really really big giant._

Oh.

"I challenge you to a duel, you sick bastard. If I win, I earn control over all of your material wealth and property, and all personnel will be free to leave if they so desire." To accentuate those words, I gave Derflinger a casual swing, almost looking like I was testing his weight.

Count Mott looked shocked at my actions. I obviously had caught someone off guard with my ridiculously fast-paced mind yet again. Mott then began to laugh. "Whahahaha! What do you have that could ever warrant me entering a duel with you, you lowly plebian?"

That…was a valid point. Brimir?

_Insult his mother._

What?

_Just trust me._

…

"…Your mother is so fat, not even a hundred square-class wind mages could lift her fat ass into the air!"

The silence was eternal and thick, so thick I could use Derflinger to cut right through it.

The silence was broken by the shattering of several vases, and the water once used to nourish the flowers within morphed into whip-like tendrils, and Mott looked freaking _pissed._

"No one…" he hissed…

"Insults…" he said in a louder tone of voice…

"MOTHER!" he roared out, and the tendrils shot forward like javelins.

Why in the world did that work?

_That I'm not too sure of. I guess the standard of mages has really fallen since my time._

Firing the CMS boosters, I was launched out of the way of the oncoming missiles, and I turned towards Mott, who fired a ball of water at me. Letting my reflexes kick in, I weaved to the right, only to suddenly feel several lances of pain upon my back. With a wince, I realized that the tendrils could be manipulated to track me like a heat-seeker.

Then I grinned. This was going to be fun.

"Kaiser Shinoda, engaging Count Mott!"

Brimir, quickly! Get that stereo, hit play!

_What the...ok?_

…

_Track 20: Howling Wind. Castle in the Darkness…_

_My gods._

Glorious chip-tune music filled my head. _Now _I could fight.

With a roar of my own, I dashed forward, the familiar surge of strength from the runes accompanying my charge. It was obvious Count Mott hadn't really realized that I was able to shrug off such powerful attacks. I knew they were powerful because I was pretty sure I was bleeding. Damn magic users.

Mott quickly recovered from his shock though, and using what I was pretty sure was wind magic, he barely managed to juke left as my diagonal slash arced through the air where he'd been just a second ago. A massive wall of water then formed within seconds as he channeled what was probably a large chunk of his willpower into one attack.

"Partner, swing me through that wall!"

"Why, Derf?" I was already dashing towards Mott again, not willing to let him get the upper hand, somehow. I just didn't know how to get through the wall.

"Trust me!"

With a roar, I slashed horizontally, and Derflinger glowed as he sliced the wall in half, as well as tearing a rather shallow gash into Mott's chest. The wall had absorbed most of the swing, but it still failed.

_Forgot to mention that. Derflinger can consume magic, and he's sometimes called the Devourer of Mages due to both that ability and his ability to release it in a blast of power._

Perfect.

Mott's focus on his magic crumpled the moment the slash connected, and the remaining water simply fell around us, and I held the sword to his neck.

Instead of letting me slit his throat, he knocked away my blade with a burst of wind magic, and swept his stick in a large arc, summoning a wave of water to crash into me. The shockwave knocked me into a wall, and I lost my breath from the impact. Shit, that hit hard.

"Relinquish your ownership of what makes you a noble, you scum," I spat out, breathing hard. Minor healing factor aside, Mott had managed to get a good hit in, and I'd be lucky there would only be bleeding and not any lasting damage to the spine, and that was without mentioning the fact that my ribs were probably bruised from the damage that last attack had dealt. I don't think any humanoid could live normally with that kind of damage.

This whole engagement only solidified the fact that I simply could not allow any mage to get any good hits in. If my armor could only lessen the impact of such powerful spells, I needed to dodge more and tank less.

Thank the gods Derflinger could absorb magic and fire it back. It made me morbidly curious as to whether or not he could also absorb telekinetic energy. Maybe he could act as a battery. That'd be one hell of a use, and would be really freaking useful.

Another volley of water tendrils shot out, and I fired the boosters again, rushing forward and slicing several of the tendrils out of the air with Derflinger. The sentient steel drank greedily of the magic, and I drew the K908 in the midst of my charge, unfolding the blade as I crossed towards Mott.

He had different ideas though: with a quick chant and a surge of wind magic, the resulting block of invisible force knocked me through the double doors. Falling to the ground floor, I quickly recovered my balance and rolled to my feet, even as Mott strolled out towards me, stopping at the front of the double doors.

He pulled out a test tube with a stopper in it and laughed in a nearly maniacal way. The tube was filled with an odd blue liquid, and seemed like it was taken directly from the sea itself. Whatever it was though, it most definitely was _not _water.

"It is time for the world to see the fruits of my research! Behold the power of the crystal!"

With that, he pulled off the stopper and drank all of the blue substance.

What follows would be my introduction into a kind of warfare I had no idea was possible in Halkeginia.

Mott's skin began to turn blue as his laughter turned into screams of pain. Hard scales formed over his flesh, and his eyes lost their whites, turning completely black and beady. He dropped his stick of destiny, and it shattered on impact. I recoiled and took a step back. His lower body, from the waist down, was liquefying and was being restructured, his bones creaking and his flesh-scales mutating.

It was done, after several terrifying seconds. His lower body was that of a snake or legless lizard. His eyes were locked onto me, black and beady and full of hatred. Water shifted around his form at his will. His jaw unhinged, and he let loose a rattling roar of challenge. That roar is what clued me in to what the fuck had happened.

It sounded nearly exactly like Manda, except with human vocal chords and not the throat of a kaiju uttering its challenge. This son of a bitch had done what was taboo and impossible in my world.

Like the Atlanteans before us.

Man-made genetic warfare.

I was going to need both of my swords for this job. It was bound to be difficult, and I needed both the K908 to slice through those scales and Derflinger to cut through the magic.

I assumed a bastardization of what Kaisers called the 'ready' position in our Japanese two-sword style, with the defensive sword in my left, Derflinger, ready to block or parry, and the K908 acting as my attacking sword, held high over my head and ready for an opening slash. I could never really learn the kata for two-sword style, so I had to make due with what I had.

…

Brimir?

_Yes, Shinoda?_

Track 145, please.

…

_**Click**_

_The Vital Vitriol. Shovel Knight…_

_Dear gods._

Thanks, Brimir.

"Kaiser Shinoda, engaging Mutant Mott!"

At my declaration of mortal combat, the mutant made a sweeping gesture with its right hand, and a solid stream of water shot forward. Drawing upon both my own power and the power of the runes of Gandalfr, I leapt over the stream and boosted upwards, my K908 slashing out in a wide arc.

The mutant slithered out of the way using wind magic to bolster its movement, causing my slash, **Focused **using telekintics, to carve a deep gouge in the polished and once clean floor. Grunting, I used my remaining forward momentum to enter a roll, and I carried that momentum into a precise stab using Derflinger.

Mott quickly conjured up several tendrils of water, and used the first to deflect Derflinger away. I followed up that failed stab with a diagonal slash, aiming for the mutant's torso, only for Mott to knock that away too.

Just how much more powerful did this mutation make him?

Gritting my teeth at the headache, I brought both my swords down in a savage arc, trying to bisect Mott, only for the Manda mutant to present me his tail, quickly turning 180 degrees.

The swords dug into the tail, but it wasn't too effective as an attack, considering Mott didn't yell in pain or anything. It was like his new limb was used specifically for the purpose of taking hits for him.

The tail was wrenched away from me before I was able to pull out my swords, and Derflinger was not too happy at this.

"Hey, you dumb snake! Take me back to my partner before I _really _get mad!"

Rolling my eyes, I **Focused** my fists and delivered to the mutant's face a flurry of punches at full power. Even a creature as powerful as this one would have a hard time shrugging off such punches, and sure enough Mott recoiled away.

I boosted upwards and, with a wordless yell, axe kicked him in his hingeless jaw.

The impact shattered several of his teeth and sent him sprawling to the ground. He was hardly defenseless though; the tail was back with a vengeance, trying to slam me into the ground. Naturally, I was trying to get the swords.

Wait for it…

There!

With a roar, the tail impacted me, sending me careening into a wall. I was hit with so much force, I had been embedded _into _the wall. Even though both of my swords were in their respective hands, it didn't change the fact that I had underestimated just how fast it could swing that tail.

Panting from exertion, I pulled myself out of the hole and landed with a stumble. Mott wasn't content on waiting; a shockwave of water flew out with him as the source, and using the K908 to brace, I held Derflinger against the tide to absorb the magic, which only partially worked.

The remaining kinetic force knocked me down yet again.

This was ridiculous. I wasn't out of practice, it was just that Mott had received a huge boost in power. That liquid was very very potent, apparently.

I needed to finish this now before the headache became too much.

Track 87, please.

…

_**Click**_

_Fighting with All Of Our Might. Shovel Knight..._

_Gods, _yes.

It appears that I've converted another to the glory of music.

And I just had a really bad idea.

Firing a boost from the CMS, I channeled telekinetic energy to where blade met handle on my K908, and the **Thumper** was tethered to that edge. Holding it in place in such a precarious position meant using up even more telekinetic energy, which meant an even more reduced combat capability should combat not end. The boost carried me towards the mutant, who had conjured up another wall of water, this one much more thicker and larger than the last one. He was apparently growing tired of our mortal combat, and he was intent on ending it.

The goal was to swing the sword whilst being boosting, using both the runes and my natural strength alongside the momentum I was carrying to _sling _the **Thumper **towards Mott. This was all for the sake of cutting through the wall of watery doom in front of me, something that Derflinger couldn't do if he could barely even manage the previous one.

Several things could happen. 1: I succeed in executing this attack and the mutant gets its face caved in. 2: I do it too early and the wall stops it, meaning the wall hits me, meaning I could die. 3: I do it too late and the wall hits me full force, which would probably kill me. 4: I miss this attack.

The odds were against me.

Mothra, save me.

With a roar, I swung the K908 while I was halfway through to hitting the wall of death before me.

"**Sling!**"

A bit impromptu on my part, but it definitely served its purpose.

The **Thumper **launched by the all-new **Sling **technique had the benefit of being under the basic laws of momentum. When you combine a full spin, a wide swinging arc, and a boosted speed, the resulting attack was bound to hit hard. This applied to the telekinetic death ball I had just fired.

Whereas Derflinger had cut a shallow gash into Mott through the first weaker wall, the **Thumper **completely smashed through the death wall of water. It kept going past that, too.

I could see in what could only be called slow motion as Mott's nose split almost in half as the **Thumper **hit him dead on. The sphere caved in his reptilian skull, piercing through it and causing his brains to explode out in all directions due to the force. The **Thumper **kept going though, and it didn't stop till it was completely through his head and till it had slammed into the wall behind him, collapsing it with the resulting detonation.

And then the floor was suddenly rushing up towards me much faster than usual.

I landed with a roll and a tumble. Everything hurt, my bones felt bruised, my flesh was bleeding and torn from the blunt trauma, the tendrils that hit my back at the start of the battle had probably damaged my spine. I could feel the bones popping and something was grinding in my back. I might have slipped a disc, and if that was true then I'd probably never be able to move normally again.

I was a wreck. I was worse off than I had ever thought I'd be, fighting Gyaos or Xillians or anything. All that physical trauma was _through _my damned CMS, no less. It went to show how potent this world's magic was.

…

I'd _won._

I was well and truly insane now. Why else would I point and laugh at the rapidly decaying corpse of the Manda wannabe?

XXX

Louise, Kirche, Tabitha, and Katie all arrived via Sylphid, the _female _dragon, and Tabitha quickly began administering first aid via water magic, though it was nowhere near the level of the resident nurse of the academy. She'd taken the opportunity to jab my back before she'd healed it, pain and all, and simply said "Lucky," in her trademarked soft spoken voice. Turns out the spine wasn't irreparably damaged, despite my fears. Or maybe she meant that I was lucky that I wasn't dead from shock, blood loss, and trauma. Either way, and needless to say, that one word set me off laughing again, even as the internal damage punished my happiness with more pain.

That was Tabitha's way of telling me off. The other girls, however, decided to really lay into me. Louise was staring at me with a malevolence that wouldn't be too out of place from a horror movie, her stick of destiny clenched in her fist and her mouth twitching as if mouthing the words of a spell. Kirche was favoring me with a look that promised both pain at risking my life so callously and pleasure for being the comic-book hero, and something told me both would be delivered at the same time. Katie was scowling at me in a fashion that would be perfect in the setting of an anime, her cheeks puffed cutely and her basket in hand.

Then it hit me.

"Katie, why are you here?"

She instantly gained a blush and began stuttering out an explanation, something that I will omit for the sake of my sanity. I really didn't want to think about her _liking _me. I'm not a freaking pedophile.

Tabitha just continued to read her book even whilst healing me. She didn't have much to say, thankfully. The mental image of Tabitha's mouth in a pout and scolding me was nearly too much for my brain to handle. I'd probably catch diabetes and die from it.

That was when Siesta showed up, who immediately demanded of me the explanation of why I had nearly died. After telling her in detail of the battle, she did only one thing.

A dark miasma of corona energy enveloping her, she stalked towards me like a tiger stalking her prey. My entire soul sang with fear at the oncoming walking death, and yet I was too paralyzed from fear for my fight or flight reaction to even register in my body.

"Shinoda likes getting hurt, yes? Shinoda likes pain, yes? Shinoda doesn't mind if he _nearly dies, __**right?**_"

It was becoming increasingly difficult to discern differences from Space Godzilla and Siesta. Not to mention that her eyes were beginning to flicker and glow as if her own **Corona Beam** was charging.

Something told me that even if Armor Mothra Leo was here, he'd leave me for dead.

Gods help me.

...

After that fiasco, I delved back into the basement to retrieve the corpse of the girl to properly take care of her.

Someone as innocent as her deserved proper rest in the afterlife.

XXX

After dealing with the remaining anger of the corona user of doom that was Siesta, I was swiftly taken back to the academy, basically dragged along as an unwilling hostage by Louise. "We need to go tell and Headmaster what you've found and maybe _she _won't kill us." That was the theme of her insane ranting as she dragged me up the steps to the Headmaster's office. If there was someone that could actually make the young Void user falter in fear, even after all the teasing and failure she's endured, I found that I'd rather not meet this lady.

Which led to the current situation.

"You have made a grave mistake, Louise! What were you thinking, killing a high ranking government official!"

"I wasn't the one that made his head explode, that was my idiot of a familiar!"

"The summoner is _always_ responsible for the actions of his or her familiar, Miss Valliere!"

It had been going back and forth like this for about 5 minutes now, and in the meantime I had subtly defending Louise's undergarments from the spying of the Headmaster's mouse familiar, who has already evaded death via an armored boot several times.

That's enough of that.

From the Courier's bag, I withdrew both the letter and other assorted evidence, minus the notebook, and slammed them onto the desk of Osmond so hard I was afraid the desk would break, even though it didn't.

_That _had caught their attention, and Osmond recovered from the shock incurred first, leaving Louise to stare at me in a wide-eyed mix of shock and indignation.

"What is this, familiar?"

I scowled. "_These _itemsare the proof that what _I _did was justified. My name is Shinoda, _Headmaster_, remember that."

I was dead tired from today. I just wanted to eat and sleep now, and their constant bickering had eroded the rest of my thin patience.

I let Osmond have his few minutes of silence as he looked through the multiple documents that detailed Mott's dealings with the faction known as Reconquista. His face continuously grew more and more grim as he paved his way through the documents. By the time he was done, he looked at me with a dark gleam in his eyes.

"To think that this rebellion had spread so far as to even infect a Viscount...I will have to notify the crown as soon as possible. I hope there is nothing else of note that I should be informed of?"

My mind turned to the notebook which held the notes about the genetic modification abilities of the crystals. Needless to say, _no one _needed to know about such a disgusting road of research.

"Suffice it to say that if knowledge from that basement were to leak, the world as you know it will be broken entirely."

Osmond raised an eyebrow at my bold declaration. "And what makes you say that, _familiar_?"

That was when it hit me. For all the seemingly perverted tendencies of the Headmaster, he held steel in him that was evident of only one man I knew.

The Commander.

He was able to beat several Mutants and Kaisers, myself included, without breaking a sweat. He took no bullshit, and was the most respected man in the JSDF, on par with Admiral Tachibana.

And he was a _normal_ human.

Osmond was the dimensional counterpart of the Commander. In times of need, he demanded loyalty, respect, and efficiency. The whole perverted thing was a front to hide just how dangerous he was, but it wasn't a fake one.

Even so, it didn't matter. I was willing to lie to prevent this knowledge from being released, so that's what I did.

"Three millennia ago, a race known as the Atlanteans did something with science, science so far above what you have now it was practically magic. The result was something that, three millennia later, was able to push my own world to the brink of annihilation. Their creation was able to reproduce simply by_ eating._"

A mild lie, but a lie no less, and this unflinching man would likely demand the actual information if he knew.

My eyes met his, unflinching steel and tempered clinical thinking colliding with determination and the power to kill a lesser kaiju at maximum potential as long as I had a good serving of both help and luck.

I won...sorta.

Osmond nodded, as if satisfied with something he saw in me. "Very well, Shinoda. Louise, your mother will not be notified, though I do recommend you keep a better eye on your friend here."

Once Louise had turned and motioned for me to follow, I simply told her to go on ahead. She gave me a strange look, but I just waved off her worry. I could tell that she wasn't satisfied by the motion, but I didn't need her to be certain, just reassured enough to leave me behind for the moment.

I closed the door tightly before coming a halt before the Headmaster once more. Planting my hands firmly on the desk I stared at the man as he leaned back in his chair and took a few puffs from his pipe.

"You know better than I the ramifications of the information present within that letter and those papers. If the corruption was steeped within a Royal Messenger and whoever this Viscount is, then you know that any report that you make cannot be given to just anyone."

A slight hum was his only response before he opened a side drawer in his desk and pulled out two crystal glasses and a container of amber fluid. Placing the glasses before us he reached over with his staff and tapped a corner of his desk. There was a small flash of light before a smaller pipe of a similar design to his rose from the wood. Glancing up at him I waved off the pipe.

"I don't smoke," gesturing to the glasses I continued, "I will however join you for a bit in this case."

He tossed the pipe at me, forcing me to catch it lest it fall to the floor.

"You don't have to smoke it. Hmph, as if I would ever share some of my secret blend with a complete stranger."

I turned the small pipe over in my hand. It was smooth and clean, as if the wood that it had been formed from had become liquid before being reformed.

"I find however, that having something to worry helps with the thought processes."

I turned the pipe over in my hands. I had heard of worry stones before, but never a worry pipe. Shrugging, I stuck the end in my mouth and began to gnaw on the surprisingly soft wood. I pulled it out to examine the end only to watch as the flattened part slowly reformed into its original shape.

"Hmph...A bit of a trick I learned from a fellow scholar."

I smirked at the old man before putting the pipe back in the corner of my mouth, letting it dangle like one from those old American gangster movies.

"So tell me Mr. Familiar, from one old soldier to another. Just what old tales would you have to share? What else was present within that mansion that you would reveal around your master?"

My smirked straightened into a grim line and I pulled out the pipe once more to twirl it between my fingers.

"Well ya see old timer...for me it all started with a certain angry lizard…"

XXX

When I finally stepped out the office I was relatively satisfied with the outcome of our talk. It had been most informative to both parties, and now all I needed to do was find the secretary.

How to go about doing that was the question of the day now.

As it turns out, I hadn't needed to try too hard. The Crumbling Dirt had departed on some sort of errand to the neighboring town, and was returning even as Louise left to go eat dinner. The sun was setting, and the barest hints of the moons were peaking out in the east. It set a fitting mood for the encounter I was about to force.

"Oh Miss Loungeville?"

She turned to me after tying up her horse into the stable outside the farm. No one was around, and no one would be around, that was a near certainty.

"Yes, sir?"

"May I see your wand for a second, please? I'm curious about something concerning this world's magic."

With a hesitant nod, she handed me her stick of destiny, this one sheathed in what felt like hardened clay, an obvious tell that she was an earth mage.

After examining the wand for a bit, I looked at her dead in the eye.

"So, what would you like to tell me concerning your adventures in the thieving business, Miss Loungeville?"

Almost imperceptibly, her eyes widened, something so minute most people would miss it, even some Kaisers. I didn't though.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean, sir," she replied back, not letting an ounce of shock travel through her voice. Just from the subtle tensing of her expression and the slight shift of her robes I could tell that she was ready to bolt. I was also weary of the fact that she probably had a back-up wand, or two, on her person.

"Oh, cut the crap Fouquet. I'm tired of today already, and you're the last item on your list." To solidify that point, I glared at her with the ease of long practice. Poor Yakuza.

Fouquet openly seethed at my words. "What, are _you _going to kill me, familiar? I'm many times stronger than that fool of a Gramont."

"Not without your wand you're not."

I took a step forwards and guided her back towards the wall. I didn't flinch when her hands dug into her robes and for a moment her expression wavered in shock before something pressed into my abdomen. Before she could begin to gloat I smirked at her.

"Look down would you, I'm pretty sure what you think you're holding, is not in fact what you think you are actually holding."

The two of us glanced down, my smirk holding as it was revealed that she was in fact holding the pipe that was my most recent gift.

"Now, unless wandless magic is a thing, and I'm pretty sure its not..." I raised my spare hand and displayed her two spare wands as well as the small dagger dangling from my pinkie.

_Thank God for that crazy transfer from Germany. Fast Hands Hans, your damn kleptomaniac teachings have saved my bacon once more. _

"Well, even if it is, I'm confident in my abilities to punch a hole through your head before the first word of the chant even leaves your mouth. Now tell me, why are you doing what you're doing?"

As it turns out, sometimes being the absolute monster that some humans made out my own kind to be helped a lot. Oh, and my semi-psychic presence beating down on the walls to her mind helped too. Through that singular threat, and the sheer presence that I was exuding, she caved rather quickly. As the beans began to spill, I slowly lessened the pressure to giver her a semblance of relief. It was a very crude, and cruel, form of emotional manipulation playing on the survival instincts of the human mind. Those which had been developed and tempered through tens of thousands of years of evolution. Kaisers made some damn terrifying interrogators, especially those who had touched the mind of a kaiju, even peripherally.

She had turned to a life of thieving because both she and her sister were cast out from the seats of noble power they'd held in Albion, the flying continent, because of the violent civil war that was looking to take the same route as the French Revolution. Her sister had founded an orphanage in the meantime for war orphans with the meager funds that they had managed to escape with. Apparently since her family had been marked firmly in the royalist camp, they were forced to lay low and remain anonymous in order to escape certain death, if not a fate worse than death. From the disgust that laced her voice I had a feeling that there were a few slimy individuals who now served as fertilizer courtesy of a talented earth mage. To that extent, to help ensure both her sister and herself could live, she used her impressive power as an earth mage to become the Crumbling Dirt, Fouquet. As such, she was one of a triple identity. The secretary, the thief, and the outcast.

Her most recent goal was to capture the Staff of Destruction from the academy's vault, which was very much guarded and secured by both manpower and high-powered reinforcement runes.

If she didn't do so, she would lack the funds so desperately needed to keep her sister, herself, and the children of the orphanage afloat. It was to be her big break out. The score that all thieves sought, the holy grail that would set them for life.

If she did, she'd never need to resort to thievery again. She could return and care for her sister and the children.

Except I knew for a fact that if Reconquista was willing to fuck around with _genetic experimentation_, something as comparatively trivial as blackmailing Loungeville with the lives or well-being of her last remaining family and a bunch of children. For all I knew, they were holding them hostage and they were in line to be the next test subjects. After all, as cruel as it may sound, in a time period like this with the lack of technology and proper management systems, who could say if a couple dozen war orphans disappeared overnight.

All in all, I was sure of one thing.

"I can't let you have that Staff, you know. The group you expect to pay you in the thievery of this artefact will more than likely condemn you to an endless loop of 'Do one more task', all for the sake of using you till you're worthless. After that, you will most likely be eliminated in a way that gives this group the most gain possible."

Fucking Yakuza.

She glared at me with so much hatred, she actually almost surpassed the legendary glare of the White-Eyed one.

Almost.

"But I have no choice. I may have to help you in that thievery."

What a law-abiding citizen I was.

She was shocked beyond all comprehensible means at my words. Were this an anime, I would've expected her jaw to drop straight onto the floor.

And that would've cued my own sweatdrop.

Anyways.

"I have a really bad idea to make everyone think the great Fouquet is dead. It involves a dead bandit, your wand under your guise as Fouquet, and mortal combat."

She had managed to retrieve her jaw and her conscious operation at this point, and she looked at me seriously, all previous shock or emotion similar gone.

"Why would you do this for me? You realize that if you were caught in this ploy of yours, the nobles of this country would simply put you to death. No one crosses a noble and gets away with it, let alone a school of nobles."

I smiled at Loungeville.

"You should tell that to the last guy."

Beginning to fondle the pipe, I continued. "You see, this group is very much intent on messing with certain sciences that should _never _be tampered with. They are evil, using children of both noble and commoner descent to their own gains. Any promises that they make to you will simply be in their own favor, in the end. That's just how they operate."

Looking at you, Yakuza.

She closed her eyes, waited a spell, then nodded once, resolutely.

And now the question was whether or not I enlist the help of my pink-haired summoner and her 'friends'.

Being the ideal comic-book hero is so difficult sometimes.

…

I'm hungry.

XXX

"You have to do _something_!"

"No."

"You damn dog, _you will not embarrass me tomorrow_!"

"I will not embarrass myself to that end."

Nope.

Nope nope.

It didn't matter that Louise was starting to channel void magic, it didn't matter that Tabitha and her dragon would probably win the prize for tomorrow, it wouldn't have mattered even if Dr. Wily himself descended down riding a mechanical pink llama armed with a living mackerel to slap the everliving shit out of me.

I was not going to pretend to be an animal. It went against all of my pride.

_You're rather adamant about this._

You know exactly why I am. Otherwise, you could easily call it the Xillian in me coming out for once.

That was an understatement. It was more like the Xillian had temporarily assumed complete control over my body simply due to the threat in my pride.

Tomorrow was a contest of sorts, kind of like a talent show, for summoners to show off their familiars and their assorted abilities.

When Louise had made the completely serious contemplation of making me jump through hoops like a dog, the Xillian had simply come out.

It wasn't my fault. If anything, it was hers for not only having the audacity to make that suggestion, but it was also her fault that she had such potent magic to summon a freaking Kaiser in the first place.

It was already the day after my encounter with Loungeville, along with my mortal combat and subsequent rescue with Mott. The day after I realized the stakes had suddenly gone very very high.

The Headmaster was good at what he did. His official report, as he alerted me of several hours before today, was that some kind of creature had broken into the estate and had killed Mott, forcing the familiar of the Valliere to kill it, risking his own life and extensive property damage to save more lives. I had been given money under the table by Osmond after he relayed to me his falsified report, and had let me go after saying one more thing.

"Mr. Colbert will want to see you, Shinoda. Remember to see him soon."

With that reminder engraved into my memory, I had returned to Louise for her to tell me about tomorrow, which led to her subsequent fuck-up, which led to the current situation.

Crossing my arms with a 'hmph', I sat down upon the bench in this Vestri Courtyard and looked anywhere but my small summoner.

The only reason why I was so adamant on not going aside from my hurt pride was because I still needed to help Loungeville with her theft of the Staff of Destruction. The problem was that if I blatantly helped her, it would be too obvious _who _was helping her, and Louise would find herself an outlaw. If I didn't help at all, it would seem like I would have given up on her, and she'd turn to Reconquista despite my warnings, which was an almost guaranteed death because of the potential existence of more crystals.

I had to find a crucial balance between apprehending her and helping her. But how? It wasn't like we could discuss it, we had already agreed after she'd awoken from her fainting spell that we shouldn't talk until this all was done with.

Ugh, damn it! Was there no other option aside from the extremes!?

…

But…

Wait a minute…

The most opportune time…

…

As if on cue, I looked up towards the Headmaster's tower office window, and who should be looking outside but Loungeville herself. Not to mention she was looking directly at me.

I mouthed off 'tomorrow' to her, and my naturally better-than-humans vision allowed me to see the sly grin that had developed on her face. She nodded and retreated inside.

She knew what to do.

I just hope she trusted me enough.

"Fine, Louise. I'll go. I'll need things to fight, however. The only talents I'm willing to show off are my sword skills and mastery over the mind, not whether or not I can jump through freaking hoops."

"H-He dares talk to me like that. That dog should be punished. Maybe I should get the riding crop my sister gave me…" Poor Louise thought I couldn't hear her muttering beneath her breath, and she was dead wrong.

"Try and whip me and I plan on killing every single person in this academy to ensure no one was there to witness that act of oppression."

Three cheers for open, bloody rebellion.

She sighed wearily. "No killing off everyone in the academy."

"Very well."

It was good to be insane.

XXX

"How do you feel now, Derf?"

"Like I was just finished being made in the blacksmith! Ohhhh, look at my blade, it's so shiny you could use it as a mirror! And my pommel! Wow, partner! This is great!"

I couldn't help but smile back. It was nighttime in Louise's room, and Louise was sitting in bed, trying to get herself to fall asleep to no avail, while i just finished with the miniature project of making Derf look like new again.

It was a very good blade. Hardly pretty, but functional and sturdy.

I really needed to get practice in for my bastardized two-sword style.

As I was finishing up the final polish for Derflinger's blade, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it, tiny one."

"I will end your life."

Heheheheh.

Opening the door with Derf set loosely in my right hand for the rune boost, just to be safe, revealed an individual who wore a shawl and cloak, which concealed his/her face.

Gods, please let this take no longer than several minutes. I'm not sure I can last much longer without a good dose of sleep in my system. I need my rest and I've been scheming all day, c'mon now.

"Hello, can I help you? We're trying to get some sleep here, and it is rather late at night."

"We?"

This person was unquestionably female, and she removed her hood to reveal a face that wouldn't look out of place in high school. She had warm eyes that invited comfort and yet were filled with stress and a lovely head of hair set in what I could only call a lavender tone.

_Brimir, quit your shit._

Ignoring the perverted laughter of the rune, I gestured for her to continue.

"I apologize, I was unaware that you and Louise were lovers."

I heard an odd sound behind me. It sounded like the noise one would make if they were choking on a bone of some kind.

I myself made one such noise.

"B-B-B-B-B-B-"

Oh sweet gods, she's entered _that _stage of the Tsundere.

"I recommend you get away from this academy, ma'am. I dare not turn around lest I see the living embodiment of Tartarus itself, but I'm very sure that she is likely to blow the academy sky-high in her current condition."

Said embodiment of Tartarus knocked me aside with strength that even left me a bit envious. How had she done that from such an odd angle?

"NOW WHO-"

Her voice died upon seeing the face before me.

"P-P-P-Princess?"

The accused smiled benevolently. "Yes, Louise, it is. Is it so bad to simply want to see an old friend again?"

The fuck?

XXX

Two torturous hours of listening to what had to be an exact reenactment of some chick flick the ex had made me watch later, and we were all seated at the table in Louise's room, Louise happy and the leader of this country, one Princess Henrietta, just as happy.

I needed to sleep.

"Well, it is certainly good to see you again, Louise. I look forward to Shinoda's performance in the contest, should he choose to attend."

We'll see about that.

I wonder why Louise is looking at me with a look that promised pain.

Can I sleep now?

And how did she know my name?

Can I really not remember anything they or I talked about? What the hell happened the last two hours?

Sweet bliss soon came near as Henrietta finally left.

"Good night, Louise."

Fuck it, sleep-time.

XXX

"And that was Tabitha and her familiar, the wind dragon Sylphid!"

Louise was filled with excited energy. She simply couldn't stop moving. She'd get up from her stage left seat, pace around it, sit down, and repeat.

I personally couldn't wait for the opportunity to hone my two-sword style.

Today was the day of the contest, and the winner would have a large amount of bragging rights. It was made all the more better when people realized that Princess Henrietta would be attending and be one of the judges herself.

Today was a big day for her, and I couldn't blame her for being so antsy.

Luckily, I had found myself a very nervous Guiche and had told him that he best make as many golems as he damn well could for today.

When in doubt, fight it out.

"Louise, we're up."

She stopped mid pace and went in front of me, the very face of calmness and determination.

"Now, up next we have Miss Louise Francoise Le Blanc de la Valliere and her familiar, the Kaiser Shinoda!"

The whole venue was deathly quiet if you ignored the soft snickering coming from the multiple people in the crowd who thought little to nothing of my small summoner.

"Guiche, if you would."

At Louise's call, Guiche quickly stood up and utilized around 14 petals from his wand.

14 of his bronze Valkyries rose from where the petals fell, and they all were armed with a shield and some sort of weapon, ranging from a standard longsword to what looked like an axe-reaver.

Interesting. He was going unique for a change. He looked like he held potential. I'll have to thank him later.

"My familiar will now engage in combat with all 14 of Guiche de Gramont's golems."

With that, she exited stage right to stay out of the way of the impending battle.

I spoke up, the only words to be uttered for my show, or so I hoped.

"Come at me with the intent to kill, Gramont."

With a nod, he performed a flourish with his wand, and the Valkyries charged.

Brimir. Please find and play The Possessor.

_Playing._

"Kaiser Shinoda, engaging Valkyries!"

In a smooth motion, the K908 was ready and was sent screaming towards the spearhead of the charge in a horizontal slash. The shield barely held up, and the golem wrenched the shield away before I could retract my sword, though with my tight grip it lead to me flailing about latched to the shield like an annoying piece of lint on a sleeve.

I didn't have time to laugh at my predicament though, two more golems were flanking me and they both were armed with sword-reavers. Those axes were very much designed to take on swords, which axe users tended to be bested by.

Not good.

I had an idea.

Grinning madly, I flared the boosters and fired off an extended boost even while being tossed about on the shield like a ragdoll. Though this burst of plasma drained the reserves on the armor more than usual, the end result was worth the drain.

I was turned into a blowtorch, and the twin jets of energy seared gashes and carved random designs on the fronts of the sword-reavers, making them fall apart.

With a yell, I pulled the sword out of the shield and jumped out the way of the two stabs from a lance and sword user. These stabs had the benefit of catching the first's shield and going right through its weakened defenses, which gutted and killed it.

Three down.

I settled into a low stance as the Valkyries remaining drew near in a tight formation. Guiche had enough sense to put their superior numbers to use, and he had them arranged in what was almost a phalanx shield formation, interlocking shields forming a veritable wall for me to carve through. Doing so would cost time however, which would allow the golems to aim for the few yet visible weak spots in my armor.

So I did the unexpected.

Tether.

Boost.

Spin.

Swing.

"**Sling!**"

The **Thumper **slammed through the center of the formation and killed about four of them on impact, with the resulting explosion tearing away the arms of two more, dispelling them. It seems that Guiche still has the bad habit of limiting his golems to mortal capabilities.

Nine down, five left.

The remainder of the golems charged, a last ditch effort by Guiche to score a decisive blow.

Drawing Derflinger, I assumed my bastardized two-sword ready kata and met them head on.

The first, armed with a waraxe, parried my stabbing opening blow and countered with a wide sweep, forcing me to bend so far backwards I nearly hit my head on the ground. The second took advantage of my awkward angling and jumped up high into the air, readying its trident to impale me before I could move. In an effort to ensure this would happen, the third and fourth and taken up defensive positions on either side of me via shields and hammers to prevent me from juking left or right.

With a grunt of exertion, I swept to my feet and unleashed Derf in a low sweeping slash to the golems' feet. The sentient steel drank all of the magic powering these golems, and they collapsed nearly upon contact.

With those two out of the way, I rolled to the right and slashed at the lance user, whose lance was embedded deep into the ground. Its head rolled one way and its torso fell another.

The last two rushed me in a classic pincer maneuver. I simply ran them through, Derf for the left and the K908 for the right.

"Engagement successful."

I was met with a good chunk of applause as Louise walked back onstage and nodded in satisfaction.

"My familiar is a soldier of the highest caliber, and his skills border that of a Manticore Knight, as you can no doubt tell. He-"

A loud boom echoed across the flat stretch of land from the academy to the venue.

"We're under attack!"

One guard called this out as both myself and the crowd spotted the massive form of a stone golem, currently in the process of punching the wall of the middle tower located inside the compound, the Headmaster's building and where I knew the vault which held the staff resided. A figure was perched on this golem's shoulder, and was cloaked and hooded to prevent people from discovering his/her identity.

I knew though.

Loungeville had made her move.

"Retreat and protect the princess and her noble counterparts!" I hollered out as I readied my two blades. Behind me, the groups of guards had indeed followed my advice, and had encircled the nobility present in a ring of metal not too dissimilar from the American Secret Service for their President. In such a unit, they retreated in a uniform fashion.

Bringing to bear all of the power bestowed to me by my genetics, I darted forwards towards the golem, reaching it in less than a minute. When I reached it, the golem continued its assault and the hooded figure turned toward me.

"Hahahaha! Foolish swordsman, do you really think that two puny blades will stop my stone golem?"

Well, she was certainly acting her part up well. The least I could do was do the same.

"It's like you don't have any common sense, c'mon now. Hush up and allow me to escort you out of the academy, ok? You're merely a thief, and thieves can't stand up to soldiers."

"A mere thief, you say? Well, we will see who is the stronger of the two!"

My gods, we're acting it up _hard. _I really didn't think it would happen like that, but I'll take what I can get.

With a yell, and a massive creak of stone from the golem, the left fist was sent hurtling towards me at a rather respectable pace.

"Kaiser Shinoda, engaging The Crumbling Dirt!"

Set music: Fighting with All Our Might.

_Playing._

Good thing Brimir adapted to the music easily.

With a roar of effort, I attempted to block the fist completely using my crossed swords, the K908 in front with Derf providing support.

The impact was like thunder, and I was sent rocketing back into a wall.

The second time in a week that I've been embedded into a wall. At least Loungeville wasn't holding back.

Flaring the boosters, I shot out of the crater back towards the golem, who attempted to swat me like a batter at plate. Instead, I barely deflected the wild swing with a sweeping slash from Derf, carried by momentum.

Landing at its feet, I slashed out with the K908 and sliced clean through the thing's ankle, making the foot collapse with its magic to power it. Swaying to and fro, the golem sent its wounded leg at me in a punt, forcing me to draw upon the rune of the Void and beat a hasty retreat before I could take anymore abuse.

My armor would dent inwards if the golem hit me directly, and the undersuit would tear open if that happened.

I wouldn't let it.

Create.

Tether.

Draw.

_Release._

"**Thump!**"

The ball of telekinetic death shot forward and slammed _through _the left shoulder of the unstable golem, completely shearing off its arm at the point of impact and continuing past it.

Right into the wall which it had been punching.

A loud boom resounded in the courtyard, and multiple cracked formed in a spider web pattern around the point of impact.

Odd. The only walls known to _not _crumble at the force of a **Thumper **were those that were made of super dense metal.

Loungeville laughed. "Why, thank you so much for weakening the reinforced wall! Now I can claim my prize!"

The other fist punched clean through the wall this time, and the thief retreated and returned with a locked box of some unknown kind.

She got what she needed, so it was time to play my part.

I got onto one knee, Derf on the floor and that hand used to hold him on my head in what looked like pain.

"Damnit, I can't give chase. I used up too much of my power in that last attack." I spoke, making sure my voice carried to her. For effect, I stumbled to my feet again and created another **Thumper**, purposely making sure it was unstable to add on to the believability.

With another evil laugh, the golem and its master retreated from the compound completely, unopposed from anyone else that could've stopped it.

Phase one complete.

XXX

_There we go._

_I apologize for the extremely long wait for this chapter. There was a lot of IRL stuff happening, as well as several idea grinding sessions with S-111 over what we could do._

_The crystals were the result of that._

_Chances are that Shinoda will be forced to fight crystal-enhanced humans over the course of his stay in Halkeginia._

_The girls will be involved, of course. Maybe even in a way that will dictate how he operates from a certain point on._

_What I mean by that, you faithful readers will see._

_Remember to go check out the other story up, even though I'll be focusing on this one more than that. Remember to check out S-111's story and give him some love. And more than anything, remember to jam out and let it all hang out._

_And to tease everyone, here's something for the road._

XXX

"I love you, Shinoda! I can't live my life without you!"

I'm not a fucking pedophile!

_Heheheheheheheh._

Strike one, Brimir. I swear to the gods if you egg this on, I'll go in there myself and kick your ass!

XXX

_With that:_

_Bio out._


End file.
